British -- Italy -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Florence (Italy) -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Young women -- Fiction
He began to walk up and down the room, and she grew more and more vexed
at his dignified behaviour. She had counted on his being petty. It
would have made things easier for her. By a cruel irony she was drawing
out all that was finest in his disposition.
“You don’t love me, evidently. I dare say you are right not to. But it
would hurt a little less if I knew why.”
“Because”—a phrase came to her, and she accepted it—“you’re the sort
who can’t know any one intimately.”
A horrified look came into his eyes.
“I don’t mean exactly that. But you will question me, though I beg you
not to, and I must say something. It is that, more or less. When we
were only acquaintances, you let me be myself, but now you’re always
protecting me.” Her voice swelled. “I won’t be protected. I will choose
for myself what is ladylike and right. To shield me is an insult. Can’t
I be trusted to face the truth but I must get it second-hand through
you? A woman’s place! You despise my mother—I know you do—because she’s
conventional and bothers over puddings; but, oh goodness!”—she rose to
her feet—“conventional, Cecil, you’re that, for you may understand
beautiful things, but you don’t know how to use them; and you wrap
yourself up in art and books and music, and would try to wrap up me. I
won’t be stifled, not by the most glorious music, for people are more
glorious, and you hide them from me. That’s why I break off my
engagement. You were all right as long as you kept to things, but when
you came to people—” She stopped.
There was a pause. Then Cecil said with great emotion:
“It is true.”
“True on the whole,” she corrected, full of some vague shame.
“True, every word. It is a revelation. It is—I.”
“Anyhow, those are my reasons for not being your wife.”
He repeated: “‘The sort that can know no one intimately.’ It is true. I
fell to pieces the very first day we were engaged. I behaved like a cad
to Beebe and to your brother. You are even greater than I thought.” She
withdrew a step. “I’m not going to worry you. You are far too good to
me. I shall never forget your insight; and, dear, I only blame you for
this: you might have warned me in the early stages, before you felt you
wouldn’t marry me, and so have given me a chance to improve. I have
never known you till this evening. I have just used you as a peg for my
silly notions of what a woman should be. But this evening you are a
different person: new thoughts—even a new voice—”
“What do you mean by a new voice?” she asked, seized with
incontrollable anger.
“I mean that a new person seems speaking through you,” said he.
Then she lost her balance. She cried: “If you think I am in love with
some one else, you are very much mistaken.”
“Of course I don’t think that. You are not that kind, Lucy.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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