England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction
All this took place in April, when the Damerels had been but three
months in their new house. Even that little time had proved bitterly to
them many of the evils of their impoverished condition, for already Mr.
Hunsdon had begun to write of the long time Bertie had been at school,
and the necessity there was that he should exert himself; and even
Reginald’s godfather, who had always been so good, showed signs of a
disposition to launch his charge, too, on the world, suggesting that
perhaps it might be better, as he had now no prospect of anything but
working for himself, that he should leave Eton. Mrs. Damerel kept these
humiliations to herself, but it was only natural that they should give
fire to her words in her arguments with Rose; and it could not be denied
that the family had spent more than their income permitted in the first
three months. There had been the mourning, and the removal, and so many
other expenses, to begin with. It is hard enough to struggle with bills
as Mrs. Damerel had done in her husband’s lifetime, when by means of the
wisest art and never-failing attention it was always possible to pay
them as they became urgent; but when there is no money at all, either
present or in prospect, what is a poor woman to do? They made her sick
many a time when she opened the drawer in her desk and looked at them.
Even with all she could accept from Mr. Incledon (and that was limited
by pride and delicacy in many ways), and with one less to provide for,
Mrs. Damerel would still have care sufficient to make her cup run over.
Rose’s good fortune did not take her burden away.
Thus things went on through the early summer. The thought of Rose’s
trousseau nearly broke her mother’s heart. It must be to some degree in
consonance with her future position, and it must not come from Mr.
Incledon; and where was it to come from? Mrs. Damerel had begun to write
a letter to her brother, appealing, which it was a bitter thing to do,
for his help, one evening early in May. She had written after all her
children had left her, when she was alone in the old-fashioned house,
where all the old walls and the old stairs uttered strange creaks and
jars in the midnight stillness, and the branches of the creepers tapped
ghostly taps against the window. Her nerves were over-strained, and her
heart was sore, notwithstanding her success in the one matter which she
had struggled for so earnestly; and after writing half her letter Mrs.
Damerel had given it up, with a strange feeling that something opposed
the writing of it, some influence which she could not define, which
seemed to stop her words, and made her incapable of framing a sentence.
She gave it up with almost a superstitious thrill of feeling, and a
nervous tremor which she tried in vain to master; and, leaving it
half-written in her blotting-book, stole up-stairs to bed in the
silence, as glad to get out of the echoing, creaking room as if it had
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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