England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction
Probably it
was pity; probably admiration for the brave stand she was making against
poverty--perhaps only caprice, or because she had never asked anything
from him; but, whatever the cause was, there was the happy result. In
the evening anxiety, care, discouragement, bitter humiliation, and pain;
in the morning sudden ease, comfort, happiness--for, in the absence of
anything better, it is a great happiness to have money enough for all
your needs, and to be able to give your children what they want, and pay
your bills and owe no man anything. In the thought of being rich enough
to do all this Mrs. Damerel’s heart leapt up in her breast, like the
heart of a child. Next moment she remembered, and with a pang of sudden
anguish asked herself, oh, why--why had not this come sooner, when _he_,
who would have enjoyed it so much, might have had the enjoyment? This
feeling, sprang up by instinct in her mind, notwithstanding her bitter
consciousness of all she had suffered from her husband’s carelessness
and self-regard--for love is the strangest of all sentiments, and can
indulge and condemn in a breath, without any sense of inconsistency.
This was the pervading thought in Mrs. Damerel’s mind as the news spread
through the awakened house, making even the children giddy with hopes of
they knew not what. How _he_ would have enjoyed it all--the added
luxury, the added consequence! far more than she would have enjoyed it,
notwithstanding that it came to her like life to the dying. She had
taken no notice of Rose’s exclamation, nor of the flush of joy which the
girl betrayed. I am not sure, indeed, that she observed them, being
absorbed in her own feelings, which come first even in the most
generous minds, at such a crisis and revolution of fate.
As for Rose, it was the very giddiness of delight that she felt,
unreasoning and even unfeeling. Her sacrifice had become
unnecessary--she was free! So she thought, poor child, with a total
indifference to honor and her word which I do not attempt to excuse. She
never once thought of her word, or of the engagement she had come under,
or of the man who had been so kind to her, and loved her so faithfully.
The children had holiday on that blessed morning, and Rose ran out with
them into the garden, and ran wild with pure excess of joy. This was the
first day that Mr. Nolan had visited them since he went to his new
duties, and as the curate came into the garden, somewhat tired after a
long walk, and expecting to find his friends something as he had left
them--if not mourning, yet subdued as true mourners continue after the
sharpness of their grief is ended--he was struck with absolute dismay to
meet Rose, flushed and joyous, with one of the children mounted on her
shoulders, and pursued by the rest, in the highest of high romps, the
spring air resounding with their shouts. Rose blushed a little when she
saw him. She put down her little brother from her shoulder, and came
forward beaming with happiness and kindness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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