England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction
Rose did not go down-stairs that night. She had a headache, which is the
prescriptive right of a woman in trouble. She took the cup of tea which
Agatha brought her, at the door of her room, and begged that mamma would
not trouble to come to see her, as she was going to bed. She was afraid
of another discussion, and shrank even from seeing any one. She had
passed through a great many different moods of mind in respect to Mr.
Incledon, but this one was different from all the rest. All the
softening of feeling of which she had been conscious died out of her
mind; his very name became intolerable to her. That which she had
proposed to do, as the last sacrifice a girl could make for her family,
an absolute renunciation of self and voluntary martyrdom for them,
changed its character altogether when they no longer required it. Why
should she do what was worse than death, when the object for which she
was willing to die was no longer before her; when there was, indeed, no
need for doing it at all? Would Iphigenia have died for her word’s sake,
had there been no need for her sacrifice? and why should Rose do more
than she? In this there was, the reader will perceive, a certain change
of sentiment; for though Rose had made up her mind sadly and reluctantly
to marry Mr. Incledon, yet she had not thought the alternative worse
than death. She had felt while she did it the ennobling sense of having
given up her own will to make others happy, and had even recognized the
far-off and faint possibility that the happiness which she thus gave to
others might, some time or other, rebound upon herself. But the moment
her great inducement was removed, a flood of different sentiment came
in. She began to hate Mr. Incledon, to feel that he had taken advantage
of her circumstances, that her mother had taken advantage of her, that
every one had used her as a tool to promote their own purpose, with no
more consideration for her than had she been altogether without feeling.
This thought went through her mind like a hot breath from a furnace,
searing and scorching everything. And now that their purpose was served
without her, she must still make this sacrifice--for honor! For honor!
Perhaps it is true that women hold this motive more lightly than men,
though indeed the honor that is involved in a promise of marriage does
not seem to influence either sex very deeply in ordinary cases. I am
afraid poor Rose did not feel its weight at all. She might be forced to
keep her word, but her whole soul revolted against it. She had ceased to
be sad and resigned. She was rebellious and indignant, and a hundred
wild schemes and notions began to flit through her mind. To jump in such
a crisis as this from the tender resignation of a martyr for love into
the bitter and painful resistance of a domestic rebel who feels that no
one loves her, is easy to the young mind in the unreality which more or
less envelops everything to youth. From the one to the other was but a
step.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account