England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction
She drew away half frightened, not expecting the harsher tone in his
voice, though she had expected him to “be angry,” as she said. “Forgive
me,” she went on, subdued, “I was so disappointed that it made me wild.
I did not know what to do. I could not see any reason for it now--any
good in it; and, at last, when I was almost crazy with thinking, I--ran
away.”
“You ran away?”--Mr. Incledon raised his head, indignant. “Your mother
has lied all round,” he said, fiercely; then, bethinking himself, “I beg
your pardon. Mrs. Damerel no doubt had her reasons for what she said.”
“There was only one place I could go to,” said Rose, timidly, “Miss
Margetts’, where I was at school. I went up to the station for the early
train that nobody might see me. I was very much frightened. Some one was
standing there; I did not know who he was--he came by the train, I
think; but after I had got into the carriage he came in after me. Mr.
Incledon! it was not his fault, neither his nor mine. I had not been
thinking of him. It was not for him, but only not to be married--to be
free”--
“Of me,” he said, with a bitter smile; “but in short, you met, whether
by intention or not--and Mr. Wodehouse took advantage of his
opportunities?”
“He told me,” said Rose, not looking at Mr. Incledon, “what I had known
ever so long without being told; but I said nothing to him; what could I
say? I told him all that had happened. He took me to Miss Margetts’, and
there we parted,” said Rose, with a momentary pause and a deep sigh.
“Since then I have done nothing but think and think. No one has come
near me--no one has written to me. I have been left alone to go over and
over it all in my own mind. I have done so till I was nearly mad, or at
least, everything seemed going round with me and everything confused,
and I could not tell what was right and what was wrong. Oh!” cried Rose,
lifting her head in natural eloquence, with eyes which looked beyond
him, and a certain elevation and abstraction in her face, “I don’t think
it is a thing in which only right and wrong are to be considered. When
you love one and do not love another, it must mean something; and to
marry unwillingly, that is nothing to content a man. It is a wrong to
him; it is not doing right; it is treating him unkindly, cruelly! It is
as if he wanted you, anyhow, like a cat or a dog; not as if he wanted
you worthily, as his companion.” Rose’s courage failed her after this
little outburst; her high looks came down, her voice sank and faltered,
her head drooped. She rose up, and clasping her hands together, went on
in low tones: “Mr. Incledon, I am engaged to you; I belong to you. I
trust your justice and your kindness more than anything else. If you say
I am to marry you, I will do it. Take it now into your own hands. If I
think of it any more I will go mad; but I will do whatever you say.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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