England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction
“Ah!” the girl looked up at him suddenly, her countenance changing. “Mr.
Incledon, I have not said all to you that I wanted to say. Oh, do not
ask me any more! Tell mamma that you have given it up! or I must tell
you something that will break my heart.”
“I will not give it up so long as there is any hope,” he said; “tell
me--what is it? I will do nothing to break your heart.”
She made a pause. It was hard to say it, and yet, perhaps, easier to him
than it would be to face her mother and make this tremendous confession.
She twisted her poor little fingers together in her bewilderment and
misery, and fixed her eyes upon them as if their interlacing were the
chief matter in hand. “Mr. Incledon,” she said, very low, “there was
some one else--oh, how can I say it!--some one--whom I cared for--whom I
can’t help thinking about.”
“Tell me,” said Mr. Incledon, bravely quenching in his own mind a not
very amiable sentiment; for it seemed to him that if he could but secure
her confidence all would be well. He took her hand with caressing
gentleness, and spoke low, almost as low as she did. “Tell me, my
darling; I am your friend, confide in me. Who was it? May I know?”
“I cannot tell you who it was,” said Rose, with her eyes still cast
down, “because he has never said anything to me; perhaps he does not
care for me; but this has happened: without his ever asking me, or
perhaps wishing it, I cared for him. I know a girl should not do so, and
that is why I cannot--cannot! But,” said Rose raising her head with
more confidence, though still reluctant to meet his eye, “now that you
know this you will not think of me any more, Mr. Incledon. I am so sorry
if it makes you at all unhappy; but I am of very little consequence; you
cannot be long unhappy about me.”
“Pardon me if I see it in quite a different light,” he said. “My mind is
not at all changed. This is but a fancy. Surely a man who loves you, and
says so, should be of more weight than one of whose feelings you know
nothing.”
“I know about my own,” said Rose, with a little sigh; “and oh, don’t
think, as mamma does, that I am selfish! It is not selfishness; it is
because I know, if you saw into my heart, you would not ask me. Oh, Mr.
Incledon, I would die for them all if I could! but how could I say one
thing to you, and mean another? How could I let you be deceived?”
“Then, Rose, answer me truly; is your consideration solely for me?”
She gave him an alarmed, appealing look, but did not reply.
“I am willing to run the risk,” he said, with a smile, “if all your fear
is for me; and I think you might run the risk too. The other is an
imagination; I am real, very real,” he added, “very constant, very
patient. So long as you do not refuse me absolutely, I will wait and
hope.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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