England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Love stories; Marriage -- Fiction
Carthew's honest eyes lingered on her face in a manner which she could
not fathom. Did the man love her, or was he pitying her, or was he
merely indulging in sarcastic reflections at her expense? Whatever his
motives, he had a knack of compelling attention.
Presently he began to speak.
"I wonder," he said, as if talking to himself, "why men and women are
made as they are? Why does A love B, while B worships C, who cares for
no one in the world but himself? And why does D insist on confusing
things still further by not quite knowing what he--she--wants? I
wonder! They say there is enough money spent in charity every year to
supply the needs of every poor person living, but so much is
misapplied that many have to go without. I think it is the same with
human affection. There is so much true love going about in this
world--enough to keep all of us well-nourished and contented. But what
a lot of it goes to waste! There is so much overlapping! _Why_, I
wonder? It is a difficult business, Life, Daphne."
He had never called her Daphne before, but neither of them seemed to
notice the familiarity.
"We're a contrary crew, we mortals," he continued presently. "Here we
are, you and I, sitting in the moonshine inaugurating a flirtation,
though neither of us cares a snap for the other--in that way. Why, I
wonder? I think it is partly due to pride--wounded pride. You are
angry with your husband----"
Daphne, who was methodically picking her cigarette to pieces, looked
up indignantly.
"I'm _not_!" she said hotly.
"Oh yes, you are," replied Carthew. "You think you are
not, but you are. You try to believe that you are merely
indifferent to him, but you are not. As for me, I am angry
too--piqued--furious--jealous--raging--I admit it--with a girl whom
I dislike intensely. The more I see of her the more selfish,
affected, shallow, unwomanly I see her to be. And yet--I _love_
her! Why? Why? Why? People tell me she is heartless, soulless,
sordid, greedy, vulgar--everything, in fact. Sometimes I feel they
are right. Still--" he dropped his head into his hands and
continued doggedly--"what difference does that make to _me_? I love
her!... She cared for me once, too. She told me so--and she meant
it! Perhaps if I had been a little more patient with her I might
have kept her, and--and helped her a bit. Perhaps that was what I
was sent into the world for--to make things easier for Nina. I
could have done so much for her, too. I could have made a woman of
her. She has her soft side: I know: I have seen it. No other man
can say that. Meanwhile," he continued with a whimsical smile, "I
am trying to solace myself by allowing you to flirt with me----"
Daphne drew her breath sharply.
"And you are not very good at it," concluded Carthew unexpectedly.
"You are very candid," said Daphne frigidly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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