If no man will with me battle take, A voyage to hell quickly I will make, And there I will beat the devil and his dame, And bring the souls away: I fully intend the same. After that in hell I have ruffled so, Straight to old Purgatory will I go. I will clean that, [and] so purge [it] round about, That we shall need no pardons to help them out. If I have not fight enough this ways, I will climb to heaven and fet away Peter's keys; I will keep them myself and let in a great rout; What, should such a fisher keep good fellows out? MULCIBER. Have here, Thersites, briggen irons bright, And fear thou no man manly to fight; Though he be stronger than Hercules or Samson, Be thou prest and bold to set him upon. Nother Amazon nor Xerxes with their whole rabble Thee to assail shall find it profitable. I warrant thee they will flee from thy face, As doth an hare from the dogs in a chace. Would not thy black and rusty grim beard, Now thou art so armed, make any man afeard? Surely, if Jupiter did see thee in this gear, He would renne away, and hide him for fear! He would think that Typhaeus the giant were alive, And his brother Enceladus, again with him to strive. If that Mars, of battle the god stout and bold, In this array should chance thee to behold, He would yield up his sword unto thee, And god of battle (he would say) thou shouldst be. Now fare thou well, go the world through, And seek adventures, thou art man good enou'. THERSITES. Mulciber, while the stars shall shine in the sky, And Phaeton's horses with the sun's chariot shall fly; While the morning shall go before noon, And cause the darkness to vanish away soon: While that the cat shall love well milk, And while that women shall love to go in silk: While beggars have lice, And cockneys are nice: While pardoners can lie, Merchants can buy, And children cry: While all these last, and more, Which I keep in store, I do me faithfully bind Thy kindness to bear in mind. But yet, Mulciber, one thing I ask more: Hast thou ever a sword now in store? I would have such a one that would cut stones, And pare a great oak down at once. That were a sword, lo, even for the nonce. MULCIBER. Truly I have such a one in my shop, That will pare iron, as it were a rope. Have, here it is, gird it to thy side: Now fare thou well, Jupiter be thy guide! THERSITES. Gramercy, Mulciber, with my whole heart Give me thy hand, and let us depart.[583] [_Mulciber goeth into his shop again, and Thersites saith forth_: