If that I lie any whit, When she was about the kerchief to knit, Break did one of the forms' feet, That she did stand on, And down fell she anon, And forth withal, As she did fall, She girdeth out a fart, That me made to start: I think her buttocks did smart: Except it had be a mare in a cart, I have not heard such a blast. I cried and bid her hold fast: With that she, nothing aghast, Said to me, that no woman in this land Could hold fast that which was not in her hand. Now, sirs, in that whole pitch and fire-brand Of that bag so fusty, So stale and so musty, So cankered and so rusty, So stinking and so dusty, God send her as much joy, As my nose hath alway Of her unsavory spice. If that I be not wise, And stop my nose quickly, When she letteth go merrily. But let all this go. I had almost forgot The knave that here erewhile did jet, Before that Telemachus did come in. I will go seech him; I will not blin, Until that I have him: Then, so God save him, I will so beknave him, That I will make to rave him; With this sword I will shave him, And stripes when I have gave him, Better I will deprave him, That you shall know for a slave him. [_Then Miles cometh in saying_: MILES. Wilt thou so indeed? Hie thee, make good speed! I am at hand here prest, Put away tongue-shaking And this foolish craking. Let us try for the best: Cowards make speech apace; Stripes prove the man: Have now at thy face! Keep off, if thou can. [_And then he must strike at him, and Thersites must run away, and leave his club and sword behind_. Why, thou lubber, runnest thou away, And leavest thy sword and club thee behind? Now this is a sure card: now I may well say, That a coward craking here I did find. Masters, ye may see by this play in sight, That great barking dogs do not most bite. And oft it is seen that the best men in the host Be not such that use to brag most. If ye will avoid the danger of confusion, Print my words in heart, and mark this conclusion: Such gifts of God, that ye excel in most, Use them with soberness, and yourself never boast; Seek the laud of God in all that ye do: So shall virtue and honour come you to. But if you give your minds to the sin of pride, Vanish shall your virtue, your honour away will slide. For pride is hated of God above, And meekness soonest obtaineth his love. To your rulers and parents be you obedient, Never transgressing their lawful commandment. Be ye merry and joyful at board and at bed: Imagine no traitory against your prince and head. Love God, and fear him, and after him your king, Which is as victorious as any is living. Pray for his grace, with hearts that doth not feign, That long he may rule us without grief or pain. Beseech ye also that God may save his queen. Lovely Lady Jane, and the prince that he hath sent them between,[613] To augment their joy and the Commons' felicity! Fare ye well, sweet audience, God grant you all prosperity. AMEN. FOOTNOTES: