WIFE. Why, dost thou rise against me, villain? Take heed I scratch not out thy eyes twain! HUSBAND. Scratch, and thou dare, for I have a knife: Perchance I will rid thee of thy life! WIFE. Slay me with thy knife, thou shitten dastard! Dost thou think to find me such a dissard? By Cock's bones, I will make thy skin to rattle, And the brains in thy skull more deeply to settle. [_Here the Wife must lay on load upon her Husband_. HUSBAND. Good wife, be content! forgive me this fault! I will never again do that which is naught. WIFE. Go to, foolish calf, go to, and uprise, And put up thy knife, I thee advise. HUSBAND. I will do your commandments whatsoever. WIFE. Hence away, then, and fill this with water. HUSBAND. O merciful God, in what lamentable state Is he, of whom the wife is the master? Would God I had been predestinate On my marriage day to have died with a fever! O wretched creature, what may I do? My grievous wife shall I return unto? Lo, wife, behold! without further delay The water ye sent for here I do bring. WIFE. What, I say? what meaneth this weeping? What aileth thee to make all this crying? HUSBAND. I weep not, forsooth, nor cry not as yet. WIFE. No, nor thou wilt not, if thou hast any wit; It is not thy weeping that can ought avail, And therefore this matter no longer bewail. Come off, I say, and run by the river, And wash these clothes in the water. HUSBAND. Wife, I will thither hie me fast. WIFE. Yet I advise thee, thou cullon,[361] make haste. HUSBAND. O, how unhappy and eke unfortunate Is the most part of married men's condition! I would to death I had been agate,[362] When my mother in bearing me made lamentation. What shall I do? whither shall I turn? Most careful man now under the sky! In the flaming fire I had rather burn, Than with extreme pain live so heavily. There is no shift; to my wife I must go, Whom that I did wed; I am full wo! Where are ye, wife? your clothes are washed clean, As white as a lily,[363] without spot or stain. WIFE. Thou thief, thou caitiff, why is not this lace Washed as fair as all the rest? Thou shalt for this gear now smoke apace! By Jis,[364] I swear, thou brutish beast! [_Here she must knock her Husband_. HUSBAND. Alas, alas! I am almost quite dead! My wife so pitifully hath broken my head! [_Here her Husband must lie along on the ground, as though he were sore beaten and wounded_. WIFE. Well, I perceive the time will away, And into the country to go I have promised; Look therefore thou go not from hence to-day, Till home again I am returned. Take heed, I say, this house thee retain, And stir not for any thing out of my door, Until that I come hither again, As thou wilt be rewarded therefore. [_Here his Wife goeth out, and the Husband tarrieth behind alone_.