A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Volume 03
General
A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Volume 03
English drama
GAMMER. Now, Jesus mercy, Hodge, did Diccon in him bring?
HODGE. Nay, gammer (hear me speak), chill tell you a greater thing.
The devil, when Diccon bad him (ich heard him wondrous well)
Said plainly (here before us) that dame Chat had your nee'le.
GAMMER. Then let us go, and ask her wherefore she minds to keep it;
Seeing we know so much, 'twere madness now to slip it.
HODGE. Go to her, gammer, see ye not where she stands in her doors?
Bid her give you the nee'le; 'tis none of hers, but yours.
THE THIRD ACT.
THE THIRD SCENE.
GAMMER, CHAT, HODGE.
GAMMER. Dame Chat, ch' ould pray thee fair, let me have that is mine,
Chill not these twenty years take one fart that is thine;
Therefore give me mine own, and let me live beside thee--
CHAT. Why art thou crept from home hither to mine own doors to chide
me?
Hence, doating drab, avaunt, or I shall set thee further.
Intends thou and this knave me in my house to murther?
GAMMER. Tush! gape not so on[250] me, woman: shalt not yet eat me,
Nor all the friends thou hast in this shall not entreat me;
Mine own goods I will have, and ask thee no[251] by'r leave:
What, woman, poor folks must have right, though the thing you aggrieve.
CHAT. Give thee thy right, and hang thee up, with all thy beggar's
brood!
What, wilt thou make me a thief, and say I stole thy good?
GAMMER. Chill say nothing (ich warrant thee), but that ich can prove
it well,
Thou fet my good even from my door, cham able this to tell.
CHAT. Did I (old witch) steal ought was thine? how should that thing
be known?
GAMMER. Ich cannot tell, but up thou tookest it, as though it had
been thine own.
CHAT. Marry, fie on thee, thou old gib, with all my very heart.
GAMMER. Nay, fie on thee, thou ramp,[252] thou rig,[253] with all that
take thy part.
CHAT. A vengeance on those lips that layeth such things to my charge.
GAMMER. A vengeance on those callet's hips, whose conscience is
so large.
CHAT. Come out, hog.
GAMMER. Come out, hog, and let have me right.
CHAT. Thou arrant witch.
GAMMER. Thou bawdy bitch, chill make thee curse this night.
Chat. A bag and a wallet![254]
GAMMER. A cart for a callet!
CHAT. Why, weenest[255] thou thus to prevail?
I hold thee a groat,
I shall patch thy coat.
GAMMER. Thou wert as good kiss my tail;
Thou slut, thou cut,[256] thou rakes, thou jakes, will not shame make
thee hide thee?[257]
CHAT. Thou skald, thou bald, thou rotten,[258] thou glutton, I will
no longer chide thee;
But I will teach thee to keep home.
GAMMER. Wilt thou, drunken beast? [_They fight._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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