DICCON. What, if I have? five hundred such have I seen within these seven years: I am sorry for nothing else, but that I see not the sport, Which was between them when they met, as they themselves report. BAILY. The greatest thing, Master Rat, ye see how he is dress'd. DICCON. What devil, need he be groping so deep in goodwife Chat's hens' nest? BAILY. Yea, but it was thy drift to bring him into the briars. DICCON. God's bread! hath not such an old fool wit to save his ears? He showeth himself herein, ye see, so very a cox,[308] The cat was not so madly allured by the fox,[309] To run in the snares was set for him doubtless; For he leapt in for mice, and this sir John for madness. DOCTOR RAT. Well, and ye shift no better, ye losel lither[310] and lazy, I will go near for this to make ye leap at a daisy.[311] In the king's name, Master Baily, I charge you set him fast. DICCON. What! fast at cards or fast on sleep? it is the thing I did last. DOCTOR RAT. Nay, fast in fetters, false varlet, according to thy deeds. BAILY. Master Doctor, there is no remedy, I must entreat you needs Some other kind of punishment. DOCTOR RAT. Nay, by All-Hallows, His punishment, if I may judge, shall be nought else but the gallows. BAILY. That were too sore; a spiritual man to be so extreme! DOCTOR RAT. Is he worthy any better, sir? how do you judge and deem? BAILY. I grant him worthy punishment, but in no wise so great. GAMMER. It is a shame, ich tell you plain, for such false knaves entreat. He has almost undone us all, that is as true as steel. And yet for all this great ado, cham never the near my nee'le. BAILY. Can'st thou not say anything to that, Diccon, with least or most? DICCON. Yea, marry, sir, thus much I can say well, the nee'le is lost. BAILY. Nay, canst not thou tell which way that needle may be found? DICCON. No, by my fay, sir, though I might have an hundred pound. HODGE. Thou liar lickdish, didst not say the nee'le would be gotten? DICCON. No, Hodge; by the same token you were that time beshitten, For fear of hobgoblin--you wot well what I mean, As long as it is since, I fear me yet ye be scarce clean. BAILY. Well, Master Rat, you must both learn and teach us to forgive, Since Diccon hath confession made, and is so clean shreve: If ye to me consent to amend this heavy chance, I will enjoin him here some open kind of penance: Of this condition--where ye know my fee is twenty pence For the bloodshed, I am agreed with you here to dispense; Ye shall go quit, so that ye grant the matter now to run, To end with mirth among us all, even as it was begun. CHAT. Say yea, Master Vicar, and he shall sure confess to be your debtor, And all we that be here present will love you much the better.