NEW. I pray you leave your courtesy, and I will tell you by and by. If he be the more knave, the patrimony he must have, But thou shalt have it, if thou prove thyself the verier knave; A piece of ground it is, that of Beggars' manor do[th] hold, And whoso deserves it, shall have it, ye may be bold-- Call'd Saint Thomas-a-Waterings or else Tyburn Hill, Given and so bequeathed to the falsest by will. TOM. Then I trow I am he, that this patrimony shall possess, For I Tom Tosspot do use this trade doubtless: From morning till night I sit tossing the black bowl,[341] Then come I home, and pray for my father's soul. Saying my prayers with wounds, blood, guts, and heart: Swearing and staring, thus play I my part. If any poor man have in a whole week earn'd one groat, He shall spend it in one hour in tossing the pot. I use to call servants and poor men to my company, And make them spend all they have unthriftily; So that my company they think to be so good, That in short space their hair grows through their hood. NEW. But will no gossips keep thee company now and then? TOM. Tush, I am acquainted with many a woman, That with me will sit in every house and place; But then their husbands had need fend their face. For when they come home, they will not be afeard, To shake the goodman, and sometime shave his beard. And as for Flemish[342] servants I have such a train, That will quass and carouse, and therein spend their gain. From week to week I have all this company; Wherefore I am worthy to have the patrimony. NEW. Thus thou may'st be called a knave in grain; And where knaves are scant, thou shalt go for twain. But now, Ralph Roister, let me hear what thou canst say. RALPH. You know that Ralph Roister I am called alway, And my conditions in knavery so far doth surmount, That to have this patrimony I make mine account, For I entice young gentlemen all virtue to eschew, And to give themselves to riotousness, this is true. Serving-men also by me are so seduced, That all in bravery their minds are confused. Then, if they have not themselves to maintain, To pick and to steal they must be fain. And, I may say to you, I have such a train, That sometime I pitch a field on Salisbury plain.[343] And much more, if need were, I could say verily: Wherefore I am worthy to have the patrimony. NEW. He, that shall judge this matter, had need have more wit than I; But, seeing you have referred it unto my arbitrement, In faith I will give such equal judgment, That both of you shall be well-pleased and content. TOM. Nay, I have not done, for I can say much more. NEW. Well, I will not have you contend any more. But this farm, which to Beggars' manor doth appertain, I will equally divide between you twain. Are you not content, that so it shall be?