SIMPLICITY. What, Semblation, swear not; for thou swearest by that thou couldst not get. Thou have honesty now? thy honesty is quite gone: Marry, thou hadst honesty at eleven of the clock, and went from you at noon. Why, how canst thou have honesty, when it dare not come nigh thee? I warrant, Semblation, he that has less honesty than thou may defy thee. Thou hast honesty, sir reverence! come out, dog, where art thou? Even as much[190] honesty as had my mother's great hoggish sow. No, faith, thou must put out my eye with honesty, and thou hadst it here: Hast not left it at the alehouse in gage for a pot of strong beer? DISSIMULATION. Pray thee, leave prating, Simplicity, and tell me what thou hast there. SIMPLICITY. Why, 'tis nothing for thee: thou dost not deal with such kind of ware. Sirrah, there is no deceit in a bag-pudding, is there? nor in a plain pudding-pie? But there is deceit, and knavery too, in thy fellow that is called Usury.[191] Sirrah, I'll tell thee; I won[192] not tell thee; and yet I'll tell thee, now I 'member me, too. Canst tell, or wouldst know whither with this parliament I go?[193] Faith, even to Suck-Swill, thy fellow Usury, I am sent With my Lady Love's gown, and Lady Conscience' too, for a quarter's rent. DISSIMULATION. Alas! poor Lady Love, art thou driven so low? Some little pittance on thee I'll bestow. Hold, Simplicity: carry her three or four ducats from me, And commend me to her even very heartily. SIMPLICITY. Duck-eggs? yes, I'll carry 'em, and 'twere as many as this would hold. DISSIMULATION. Tush! thou knowest not what I mean: take this, 'tis gold. SIMPLICITY. Mass, 'tis gold indeed: why, wilt thou send away thy gold? hast no more need? I think thou art grown plaguy rich with thy dissembling trade. But I'll carry my lady the gold, for this will make her well apaid. DISSIMULATION. And, sirrah, carry Lady Love's gown back again; for my fellow Usury Shall not have her gown: I am sure so much he will befriend me. SIMPLICITY. But what shall Conscience' gown do? shall I carry it back again too? DISSIMULATION. Nay, let Conscience' gown and skin to Usury go. If nobody cared for Conscience more than I, They would hang her up like bacon in a chimney to dry. SIMPLICITY. Faith, I told thee thou caredst not for Conscience nor honesty: I think, indeed, it will never be the death of thee. But I'll go conspatch my errand so soon as I can, I tell ye, For now I ha' gold, I would fain have some good meat in my belly. [_Exit_. DISSIMULATION. Nay, I'll hie me after, that I may send back Lady Love's gown, For I would not have Love bought quite out of town. Marry, for Conscience, tut, I care not two straws: Why I should take care for her, I know no kind of cause. [_Exit_. _Enter_ HOSPITALITY.