HONESTY. Why, I think I have taken in hand an endless task, To smell a knave: 'tis more than a dog can do. I have disguised myself of purpose to find A couple of knaves, which are yet behind. The next knave is a priest, call'd John the precise, That with counterfeit holiness blinds the people's eyes. This is one of them, that will say it is a shame For men to swear and blaspheme God's holy name; Yet if a make a good sermon but once in a year, A will be forty times in a tavern making good cheer: Yet in the church he will read with such sobriety, That you would think him very precise and of great honesty. [_Aside_.] KING. What, Honesty, hast thou despatch'd, and found these privy knaves? HONESTY. I shall do anon: I have them in scent; but I will be gone. [_Exit_. _Enter_ PRIEST. PRIEST. Good Lord! I praise God I am come from our morning's exercise, Where I have profited myself, and e[d]ified my brethren In shewing the way to salvation by my doctrine; And now I am going to the court to prefer my petition. I would give a hundred pound it were granted; 'Tis a thing of nothing: but here comes one of the court. _Enter_ HONESTY. God save you, brother in Christ: are you towards the king? HONESTY. Ay, marry am I: what then? why dost thou ask? PRIEST. Nothing, sir, but I would desire you to stand my friend, To get me the king's hand and seal to this letter. I would not use it, sir, to hinder any man for a thousand pound; For indeed I am a clergyman by my profession. 'Tis nothing, sir, but, as you see, to have the king's seal To carry tin, lead, wool, and broadcloths beyond seas, For you know, sir, every man will make the most he can of his own; And for my part, I use it but for a present necessity, If you will undertake to do it, I'll give you a hundred pound. HONESTY. I thank you, sir, but I am afraid the king will hardly grant it: why, 'tis an undoing to the commonwealth; But, truly, I will move the king to hang you, priest, i'faith.-- [_Aside_. May it please your grace to grant me my petition, For I offer it your grace in pure devotion. KING. O monstrous! Dunstan, didst thou ever hear the like? Now fie upon the base villain! lay hands on him. HONESTY. On me? nay, on him. Priest, I give your petition to the king, And I will speak to him you may be but hanged; For if you should live, till the king granted your petition, The very ravens would pick out thine eyes living; And therefore 'twere better you were hanged, to save the birds a labour. KING. Now, Honesty, hast thou done? Is here all? HONESTY. O no, my lord, for there are so many behind, That I am afraid my work will never have an end. But I see by the priest's looks he lacks company: Stay awhile, my lord, I'll fetch another presently. [_Exit_.