FRAN. My mother pouts, and will look merrily Neither upon my father nor on me: He says she fell out with Mistress Barnes to-day; Then I am sure they'll not be quickly friends. Good Lord, what kind of creatures women are! Their love is lightly[277] won and lightly lost; And then their hate is deadly and extreme: He that doth take a wife betakes himself To all the cares and troubles of the world. Now her disquietness doth grieve my father, Grieves me, and troubles all the house besides. What, shall I have some drink? [_Horn sounded within_]--How now? a horn! Belike the drunken knave is fall'n asleep, And now the boy doth wake him with his horn. _Enter_ BOY. How now, sirrah, where's the butler? BOY. Marry, sir, where he was even now, asleep; but I wak'd him, and when he wak'd he thought he was in Master Barnes's buttery, for he stretch'd himself thus, and yawning, said, "Nick, honest Nick, fill a fresh bowl of ale; stand to it, Nick, and thou beest a man of God's making, stand to it;" and then I winded my horn, and he's horn-mad. _Enter_ HODGE. HOD. Boy, hey! ho, boy! and thou beest a man, draw.--O, here's a blessed moonshine, God be thanked!--Boy, is not this goodly weather for barley? BOY. Spoken like a right malster, Hodge: but dost thou hear? thou art not drunk? HOD. No, I scorn that, i'faith. BOY.[278] But thy fellow Dick Coomes is mightily drunk. HOD. Drunk! a plague on it, when a man cannot carry his drink well! 'sblood, I'll stand to it. BOY. Hold, man; see, and thou canst stand first. HOD. Drunk! he's a beast, and he be drunk; there's no man that is a sober man will be drunk; he's a boy, and he be drunk. BOY. No, he's a man as thou art. HOD. Thus 'tis, when a man will not be ruled by his friends: I bad him keep under the lee, but he kept down the weather two bows; I told him he would be taken with a planet, but the wisest of us all may fall. BOY. True, Hodge. [_Boy trips him_. HOD. Whoop! lend me thy hand, Dick, I am fall'n into a well; lend me thy hand, I shall be drowned else. BOY. Hold fast by the bucket, Hodge. HOD. A rope on it! BOY. Ay, there is a rope on it; but where art thou, Hodge? HOD. In a well; I prythee, draw up. BOY. Come, give up thy body; wind up, hoist HOD. I am over head and ears. BOY. In all, Hodge, in all. FRAN. How loathsome is this beast-man's shape to me, This mould of reason so unreasonable!-- Sirrah, why dost thou trip him down, seeing he's drunk? BOY. Because, sir, I would have drunkards cheap.[279] FRAN. How mean ye? BOY. Why, they say that, when anything hath a fall, it is cheap; and so of drunkards. FRAN. Go to, help him up: [_Knocking without_] but, hark, who knocks? [BOY _goes to the door, and returns_.] BOY. Sir, here's one of Master Barnes's men with a letter to my old master. FRAN. Which of them is it? BOY. They call him Nicholas, sir. FRAN. Go, call him in. [_Exit_ BOY.] _Enter_ COOMES.