ROB. The doctor's self would scarce know Robin now. Curs'd Marian may go seek another man, For I intend to dwell no longer with her, Since that the bastinado drove me thence. These silken girls are all too fine for me: My master shall report of those in hell, Whilst I go range amongst the country-maids, To see, if homespun lasses milder be Than my curs'd dame and Lacy's wanton wife. Thus therefore will I live betwixt two shapes; When as I list, in this transform'd disguise, I'll fright the country-people as they pass; And sometimes turn me to some other form, And so delude them with fantastic shows. But woe betide the silly dairymaids, For I shall fleet their cream-bowls night by night. And slice the bacon-flitches as they hang. Well, here in Croydon will I first begin To frolic it among the country lobs. This day, they say, is call'd Holyrood-day, And all the youth are now a-nutting gone. Here are a crew of younkers in this wood, Well-sorted, for each lad hath got his lass. Marry, indeed, there is a tricksy[467] girl, That three or four would fain be doing with, But that a wily priest among the rest Intends to bear her sheer away from all. The miller, and my brother Grim the collier Appointed here to scuffle for her love. I am on Grim's side; for long time ago The devil call'd the collier like to like:[468] _Enter_ GRIM, CLACK, PARSON SHORTHOSE, JOAN, _with a bag of nuts_. But here the miller and the collier come, With Parson Makebate and their tricksy girl. GRIM. Parson, persuade me no more. I come, Jug, to your custody; Jug, hold the nut-bag. CLACK. Nay, I will give you nuts to crack. GRIM. Crack in thy throat and hauster[469] too. SHO. Neighbours, I wish you both agree: Let me be judge, be rul'd by me. GRIM. Master Parson, remember what _Pueriles_[470] saith, _Ne accesseris ad concilio_, &c. I tell you I found this written in the bottom of one of my empty sacks. Never persuade men that be inexecrable. I have vowed it, and I will perform it. The quarrel is great, and I have taken it upon my own shoulders. CLACK. Ay, that thou shalt, ere I have done; for I will lay it on, i'faith. GRIM. If you lay it in, I must bear it out, this is all. If you strike, I must stand to anything, although it be the biggest blow that you can lay upon me. JOAN. Ye both have ofttimes sworn that ye love me; Let me overrule you in this angry mood. Neighbours and old acquaintance, and fall out! ROB. Why, that is, because thou wilt not let them fall in. GRIM. I say, my heart bleedeth when thou speaketh, and therefore do not provoke me. Yet, miller, as I am monstrous angry, so I have a wonderful great mind to be repeas'd. Let's think what harm cometh by this same fighting; if we should hurt one another, how can we help it? Again, Clack, do but here forswear Joan's company, and I'll be thine instead of her, to use in all your businesses from Croydon to London; yours, Gilbert Grim, the chief collier for the king's majesty's own mouth.