COM. SEN. O times! O manners! when boys dare to traduce men in authority; was ever such an attempt heard? MEM. I remember there was: for, to say the truth, at my last being at Athens--it is now, let me see, about one thousand eight hundred years ago--I was at a comedy of Aristophanes' making.[228] I shall never forget it; the arch-governor of Athens took me by the hand, and placed me; and there, I say, I saw Socrates abused most grossly, himself being then a present spectator: I remember he sat full against me, and did not so much as show the least countenance of discontent. COM. SEN. In those days it was lawful; but now the abuse of such liberty is insufferable. PHA. Think what you will of it, I think 'tis done, and I think it is acting by this time: hark, hark; what drumming's yonder! I'll lay my life they are come to present the show I spake of. COM. SEN. It may be so; stay, we'll see what 'tis. SCAENA QUINTA. LINGUA, MENDACIO, COMMUNIS SENSUS, _and the rest_. LIN. Feign thyself in great haste. MEN. I warrant you, madam: I doubt 'tis in vain to run, by this they are all past overtaking. COM. SEN. Is not this Lingua, that is in such haste? PHA. Yes, yes, stand still. MEN. I must speak with him. COM. SEN. With whom? MEN. Assure yourself they are all at court ere this. LIN. Run after them, for, unless he know it-- COM. SEN. Lingua! LIN. O, is't your lordship? I beseech you, pardon me. Haste and fear, I protest, put out mine eyes: I looked so long for you, that I knew not, when I had found you. PHA. In my conceit that's like the man that inquired who saw his ass, when himself rid on him. LIN. O, my heart beats so! fie, fie, fie, fie! MEN. I am so weary; so, so, so, so. COM. SEN. I prythee, Lingua, make an end. LIN. Let me begin first, I beseech you; but if you will needs have the end first--thus 'tis: the commonwealth of Microcosm at this instant suffers the pangs of death, 'tis gasping for breath. Will you have all? 'tis poisoned. PHA. What apothecary durst be so bold as make such a confection? ha, what poison is't? LIN. A golden crown. MEN. I mistake; or else Galen, in his book "De Sanitate Tuenda," commends gold as restorative. COM. SEN. Lingua, express yourself. MEN. Madam, if you want breath, let me help you out. LIN. I prythee do, do. MEN. My lord, the report is that Mercury, coming late into this country, in this very place left a coronet with this inscription, _that the best of the five should have it_, which the Senses thinking to belong unto them-- LIN. Challenge each other, and are now in arms, and't like your lordship. COM. SEN. I protest it likes not me. LIN. Their battles are not far hence; ready ranged. COM. SEN. O monstrous presumption! what shall we do? MEM. My lord, in your great grandfather's time there was, I remember, such a breach amongst them; therefore my counsel is that, after his example, by the strength of your authority you convene them before you.