GRIPE. Do, good Master Churms; but be very secret. I have some business this morning, and therefore I'll leave you a while; and if you will come to dinner to me anon, you shall be very heartily welcome. CHURMS. Thanks, good sir; I'll trouble you. [_Exit_ GRIPE.] Now 'twere a good jest, if I could cosen the old churl of his daughter, and get the wench for myself. Zounds, I am as proper a man as Peter Plod-all: and though his father be as good a man as mine, yet far-fetched and dear-bought is good for ladies; and, I am sure, I have been as far as Cales[141] to fetch that I have. I have been at Cambridge, a scholar; at Cales, a soldier; and now in the country a lawyer; and the next degree shall be a coneycatcher: for I'll go near to cosen old father share-penny[142] of his daughter; I'll cast about, I'll warrant him: I'll go dine with him, and write him his letter; and then I'll go seek out my kind companion Robin Goodfellow: and, betwixt us, we'll make her yield to anything. We'll ha' the common law o' the one hand, and the civil law o' the other: we'll toss Lelia like a tennis-ball. [_Exit_. _Enter old_ PLOD-ALL _and his son_ PETER, _an_ OLD MAN, _Plod-all's tenant, and_ WILL CRICKET, _his son_. PLOD-ALL. Ah, tenant, an ill-husband, by'r Lady: thrice at thy house, and never at home? You know my mind: will you give ten shillings more rent? I must discharge you else. OLD MAN. Alas! landlord, will you undo me! I sit of a great rent already, and am very poor. WILL CRICKET. Very poor? you're a very ass. Lord, how my stomach wambles at the same word _very poor_! Father, if you love your son William, never name that same word, _very poor_; for, I'll stand to it, that it's petty larceny to name _very poor_ to a man that's o' the top of his marriage. OLD MAN. Why, son, art o' the top of thy marriage? To whom, I prythee? WILL CRICKET. Marry, to pretty Peg, Mistress Lelia's nurse's daughter. O, 'tis the dapp'rest wench that ever danced after a tabor and pipe-- For she will so heel it, And toe it, and trip it;-- O, her buttocks will quake like a custard. PETER PLOD-ALL. Why, William, when were you with her? WILL CRICKET. O Peter, does your mouth water at that? Truly, I was never with her; but I know I shall speed: 'for t'other day she looked on me and laughed, and that's a good sign, ye know. And therefore, old Silver-top, never talk of charging or discharging: for I tell you, I am my father's heir; and if you discharge me, I'll discharge my pestilence at you: for to let my house before my lease be out, is cut-throatery; and to scrape for more rent, is poll-dennery;[143] and so fare you well, good grandsire Usury. Come, father, let's be gone. [_Exeunt_ WILL _and his father_. PLOD-ALL. Well, I'll make the beggarly knaves to pack for this: I'll have it every cross, income and rent too. _Enter_ CHURMS _with a letter_.