ADRI. Creep under my mistress's farthingale, knight. That's the best and safest place in the chamber. Jus. TUT. Ay, there, there--that lie will never mistrust. ADRI. Enter, knight, keep close; gather yourself Round like a hedgehog; stir not, whate'er you hear See, or smell, knight. God bless us! here he comes. _Enter_ CAPTAIN PUFF. CAPT. PUFF. Bless thee, widow and wife. TAF. Sir, get you gone, Leave my house, or I will have you conjur'd With such a spell you never yet have heard of. Have you no other place to vent your froth But in my house? is this the fittest place Your captainship can find to puff in, ha? CAPT. PUFF. How? am I not thy spouse? didst thou not say These arms should clip[385] thy naked body fast Betwixt two linen sheets, and be sole lord Of all thy pewter-work? Thy word is pass'd: And know, that man is powder, dust and earth, That shall once dare to think thee for his wife! TAF. How now, you slave? One call the constable. CAPT. PUFF. No constable with all his halberdiers Dare once advance his head or peep up stairs, If I cry but, keep down: have I not liv'd, And march'd on sieged walls, In thunder, lightning, rain, and snow, And eke in shot of powdered balls, Whose costly marks are yet to show? TAF. Captain Puff, for my last husband's sake, With whom you were so familiarly acquainted, I am content to wink at these rude tricks; But hence! trouble me no more; if you do, I shall lay you fast, where you shall see No sun or moon. CAPT. PUFF. Nor yet the northern pole! A fico for the sun and moon: let me live in a hole, So these two stars may shine. TAF. Sir, get you gone, You swaggering cheating Turnbull Street[386] rogue, Or I will hale you to the common gaol, Where lice shall eat you. CAPT. PUFF. Go to, I shall spurn And flesh[387] your petticoat. TAF. Run to the Counter, Fetch me a red-bearded Serjeant:[388] I'll make You, captain, think the devil of hell is come To fetch you, if he once fasten on you. CAPT. PUFF. Damn thee and thy Serjeants, thou mercer's punk, Thus will I kick thee and thy farthingales. [_Kicks at her petticoat._] O. SMALL. Hold, captain! CAPT. PUFF. What, do you cast your whelps? What, have I found you, sir? have not I plac'd My sakers, culverings, demi-culverings, My cannons, demi-cannons, basilisks, Upon her breach, and do I not stand Ready with my pike to make my entry, And are you come to man her? O. SMALL. Good captain, hold.