HAD. And yet you would not once believe it; as if a female's favour could not be obtained by any but he that wears the cap of maintenance; When 'tis nothing but acquaintance and a bold spirit, That may the chiefest prize 'mongst all of them inherit. LIGHT. Well, thou hast got one deserves the bringing home with trumpets, and falls to thee as miraculously as the £1000 did to the tailor. Thank your good fortune. But must Hog's man be made drunk? HAD. By all means; and thus it shall be effected: when he comes in with beer, do you upon some slight occasion fall out with him, and if you give him a cuff or two, it will give him cause to know you are the more angry, then will I slip in and take up the matter, and, striving to make you two friends, we'll make him drunk. LIGHT. It's done in conceit already. See where he comes. _Enter_ PETER. P. SER. Wilt please you to taste a cup of September beer, gentlemen? LIGHT. Pray, begin: we'll pledge you, sir. P. SER. It's out, sir. LIGHT. Then my hand is in, sir. [LIGHTFOOT _cuffs him_.] Why goodman Hobby-horse, if we out of our gentility offered you to begin, must you out of your rascality needs take it? HAD. Why, how now, sirs, what's the matter? P. SER. The gentleman here falls out with me upon nothing in the world but mere courtesy. HAD. By this light, but he shall not; why, cousin Lightfoot! P. SER. Is his name Lightfoot? a plague on him, he has a heavy hand. _Enter_ YOUNG LORD WEALTHY. Y. LORD W. Peace be here; for I came late enough from a madman. HAD. My young lord, God save you. Y. LORD W. And you also: I could speak it in Latin, but the phrase is common.[385] HAD. True, my lord, and what's common ought not much to be dealt withal; but I must desire your help, my lord, to end a controversy here between this gentleman my friend and honest Peter who, [_Aside_] I dare be sworn, is as ignorant as your lordship. Y. LORD W. That I will; but, my masters, this much I'll say unto you--if so be this quarrel may be taken up peaceably without the endangering of my own person, well and good: otherwise I will not meddle therewith, for I have been vexed late enough already. HAD. Why then, my lord, if it please you, let me, being your inferior, decree the cause between them. Y. LORD W. I do give leave or permit. HAD. Then thus I will propound a reasonable motion; how many cuffs, Peter, did this gentleman out of his fury make thee partaker of. P. SER. Three, at the least, sir. HAD. All which were bestowed upon you for beginning first, Peter. P. SER. Yes, indeed, sir. HAD. Why then, hear the sentence of your suffering. You shall both down into Master Hog's cellar, Peter; and whereas you began first to him, so shall he there to you; and as he gave you three cuffs, so shall you retort off, in defiance of him, three black-jacks, which if he deny to pledge, then the glory is thine, and he accounted by the wise discretion of my lord here a flincher. OMNES. A reasonable motion.