A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Volume 11
General
A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Volume 11
English drama
WID. Out upon thee, Princox! No. Methinks Welltried's a handsome fellow.
I like not these starched gallants: masculine faces and masculine
gestures please me best.
BOLD. How like you Master Pert?
WID. Fie upon him! when he is in his scarlet clothes, he looks like a
man of wax, and I had as lief have a dog o' wax: I do not think but he
lies in a case o' nights. He walks as if he were made of gins[100]--as
if Nature had wrought him in a frame: I have seen him sit discontented a
whole play, because one of the purls of his band was fallen out of his
reach to order again.[101]
BOLD. Why, Bold, madam, is clean contrary.
WID. Ay, but that's as ill: each extreme is alike vicious; his careful
carelessness is his study. He spends as much time to make himself
slovenly, as the other to be spruce. His garters hang over upon the
calves of his legs, his doublet unbuttoned, and his points untrussed;
his hair in's eyes like a drunkard, and his hat, worn on the[102]
hinder-part of his head, as if he cared more for his memory than his
wit, makes him look as if he were distracted. Princox, I would have you
lie with me: I do not love to lie alone.
BOLD. With all my heart, madam.
WID. Are you clean-skinned?
BOLD. Clean-skinned, madam? there's a question! do you think I have the
itch? I am an Englishwoman: I protest, I scorn the motion.
WID. Nay, prythee, Princox, be not angry: it's a sign of honesty, I can
tell you.
BOLD. Faith, madam, I think 'tis but simple honesty that dwells at the
sign of the scab.
WID. Well, well, come to bed, and we'll talk further of all these
matters. [_Exit._
BOLD. Fortune, I thank thee; I will owe thee eyes
For this good turn! now is she mine indeed.
Thou hast given me that success my project hop'd.
Off, false disguise, that hast been true to me,
And now be Bold, that thou may'st welcome be. [_Exit._
SCENE IV.
_Enter_ WHOREBANG, BOTS,[103] TEARCHAPS, SPILLBLOOD, _and_ DRAWER:
_several patches on their faces_.
TEAR. Damn me, we will have more wine, sirrah, or we'll down into the
cellar, and drown thee in a butt of Malmsey, and hew all the hogsheads
in pieces.
WHORE. Hang him, rogue! shall he die as honourable as the Duke of
Clarence? by this flesh, let's have wine, or I will cut thy head off,
and have it roasted and eaten in Pie Corner next Bartholomew-tide.
DRAWER. Gentlemen, I beseech you consider where you are--Turnbull
Street--a civil place: do not disturb a number of poor gentlewomen.
Master Whorebang, Master Bots, Master Tearchaps, and Master Spillblood,
the watch are abroad.
SPILL. The watch! why, you rogue, are not we kings of Turnbull?
DRAWER. Yes, marry are ye, sir: for my part, if you'll be quiet, I'll
have a sign made of ye, and it shall be called the four kings of
Turnbull.
BOTS. Will you fetch us wine?
WHORE. And a whore, sirrah?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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