A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Volume 12Dodsley, Robert
General
A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Volume 12
Dodsley, Robert
English drama
HEAR. It would lay a devil
Sooner than all Trithemius' charms.[120]
SHAPE. Hark how
It blusters in her nostrils, like a wind
In a foul chimney!
POT. Out, you base companions,
You stinking swabbers!
HEAR. For her gait, that's such
As if her nose did strive t' outrun her heels.
SHAPE. She's just six yards behind when that appears.
It saves an usher, madam.
POT. You are all
Most foul-mouth'd knaves to use a woman thus.
SLICER. Your plaster'd face doth drop against moist weather.
SHAPE. Fie, how you writhe it! Now it looks just like
A ruffled boot.
SLICER. Or an oil'd paper-lantern.
HEAR. Her nose the candle in the midst of it.
SHAPE. How bright it flames! Put out your nose, good lady;
You burn daylight.[121]
POT. Come up, you lousy rascals.
HEAR. Not upon you for a kingdom, good Joan.
The Great Turk, Joan, the Great Turk!
SLICER. Kiss him, chuck;
Kiss him, chuck, open-mouth'd, and be reveng'd.
POT. Hang you, base cheating varlet!
SLICER. Don't you see
December in her face?
SHAPE. Sure, the surveyor
Of the highways will have to do with her
For not keeping her countenance passable.
HEAR. There lies a hoar-frost on her head, and yet
A constant thaw in her nose.
SHAPE. She's like a piece
Of firewood, dropping at one end, and yet
Burning i' th' midst.
SLICER. O that endeavouring face!
When will your costiveness have done, good madam?
HEAR. Do you not hear her guts already squeak
Like kit-strings?
SLICER. They must come to that within
This two or three years: by that time she'll be
True perfect cat. They practise beforehand.
POT. I can endure no longer, though I should
Throw off my womanhood.
HEAR. No need, that's done
Already: nothing left thee that may style thee
Woman, but lust and tongue: no flesh but what
The vices of the sex exact, to keep them
In heart.
SHAPE. Thou art so lean and out of case,
That 'twere absurd to call thee devil incarnate.
SLICER. Th' art a dry devil, troubled with the lust
Of that thou hast not, flesh.
POT. Rogue, rascal, villain!
I'll show your cheating tricks, i' faith: all shall
Be now laid open. Have I suffer'd you
Thus long i' my house, and ne'er demanded yet
One penny rent for this? I'll have it all:
By this good blessed light, I will!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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