CLOWN. Nay, sir, you do wrong to give a woman so many lies: she had rather have had twice so many standings than one lie. MRS FOS. I'll lie with him, I'll warrant him. STEPH. You'll be a whore, then. CLOWN. Little less, I promise you, if you lie with him. STEPH. If you complain upon mine honest coz, And that his father be offended with him, The next time I meet thee, though it be i' the street, I'll dance i' th' dirt upon thy velvet cap; Nay, worse, I'll stain thy ruff; nay, worse than that, I'll do thus. [_Holds a wisp._[74] MRS FOS. O my heart; gossip, do you see this? Was ever Woman thus abus'd? WID. Methinks 'tis good sport, i' faith. MRS FOS. Ay, I am well recompens'd to complain to you? Had you such a kindred---- WID. I would rejoice in't, gossip. MRS FOS. Do so; choose here then. O my heart! but I'll do your errand! O that my nails were not pared! but I'll do your errand! Will you go, gossip? WID. No, I'll stay awhile, and tell 'em out with patience. MRS FOS. I cannot hold a joint still! Dost wisp me, thou tatterdemalion? I'll do your errands! if I have a husband. O that I could spit wild-fire! My heart! O my heart! if it does not go pantle, pantle, pantle in my belly, I am no honest woman: but I'll do your errands! [_Exit_ MISTRESS FOSTER. ROB. Kind gentlewoman, you have some patience. WID. I have too much, sir. ROB. You may do a good office, and make yourself a peaceful moderator betwixt me and my angry father, whom his wife hath moved to spleen against me. WID. Sir, I do not disallow the kindness Your consanguinity renders; I would not teach You otherwise: I'd speak with your uncle, sir, If you'll give me leave. CLOWN. [_To_ ROBERT.] You may talk with me, sir, in the meantime. [_Exit_ ROBERT _and_ CLOWN. STEPH. With me would you talk, gentlewoman? WID. Yes, sir, with you: you are a brave unthrift. STEPH. Not very brave neither, yet I make a shift. WID. When you have a clean shirt. STEPH. I'll be no pupil to a woman. Leave your discipline. WID. Nay, pray you, hear me, sir, I cannot chide; I'll but give you good counsel: 'tis not a good Course that you run. STEPH. Yet I must run to th' end of it. WID. I would teach you a better, if you'd stay where you are. STEPH. I would stay where I am, if I had any money. WID. In the dicing-house? STEPH. I think so too; I have played at passage all this while, now I'd go to hazard. WID. Dost thou want money? Thou art worthy to be tattered! Hast thou no wit, now thy money's gone? STEPH. 'Tis all the portion I have. I have nothing to maintain me but my wit; my money is too little, I'm sure.