A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Volume 12Dodsley, Robert
General
A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Volume 12
Dodsley, Robert
English drama
JANE. I was glad of my release, sir. Suitors call you 'em?
I'd keep dish-water continually boiling, but I'd seethe such
suitors: I have had much ado to keep 'em from bloodshed. I
have seen for all the world a couple of cowardly curs quarrel
in that fashion; as the one turns his head, the other snaps
behind; and as he turns, his mouth recoils again: but I thank
my pains for't, I have leagued with 'em for a week without any
further intercourse.
BREW. Well, daughter, well; say a third trouble come; say in
the person of young Master Foster here came a third suitor: how
then?
JANE. Three's the woman's total arithmetic: indeed I would
learn to number no farther, if there was a good account made of
that.
ROB. I can instruct you so far, sweet beauty.
JANE. Take heed, sir; I have had ill-handsel to-day; perhaps
'tis not the fortunate season; you were best adjourn your
journey to some happier time.
ROB. There shall no augurism fright my plain dealing: sweet, I
fear no hours.
JANE. You'll not betray me with love-powder?
ROB. Nor with gunpowder neither, i' faith; yet I'll make you
yield, if I can.
BREW. Go, get you together; your father will be coming; leave
me with your suit to him, ply this yourself: and, Jane, use him
kindly; he shall be his father's heir, I can tell you.
JANE. Never the more for that, father; if I use him kindly, it
shall be for something I like in himself, and not for any good
he borrows of his father. But come, sir, will you walk into the
garden? for that's the field I have best fortune to overcome
my suitors in.
ROB. I fear not that fate neither; but if I walk into your
garden, I shall be tasting your sweets.
JANE. Taste sweetly, and welcome, sir; for there grows honesty,
I can tell you.
ROB. I shall be plucking at your honesty.
JANE. By my honesty, but you shall not, sir: I'll hold you
a handful of pennyroyal of that; i' faith, if you touch my
honesty there, I'll make you eat sorrel to your supper, though
I eat sullenwood[85] myself: no, sir, gather first time and
sage, and such wholesome herbs, and honesty and heart's-ease
will ripen the whilst.
ROB. You have fair roses, have you not.
JANE. Yes, sir, roses; but no gilliflowers.[86]
BREW. Go, go, and rest on Venus' violets:
Show her a dozen of bachelor's buttons, boy.
[_Exit_ ROBERT _and_ JANE.
Here comes his father.
_Enter_ OLD MASTER FOSTER _and his_ WIFE.
Now, my kind partner, have we good news?
O. FOS. Sir, in a word take it: your full lading
And venture is return'd at sixtyfold increase.
BREW. Heaven take the glory! a wondrous blessing;
O, keep us strong against these flowing tides!
Man is too weak to bound himself below,
When such high waves do mount him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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