A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Volume 13Dodsley, Robert
General
A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Volume 13
Dodsley, Robert
English drama
+Sea.+ I follow you. [_Exeunt +Warehouse+, +Cypher+._
And as for you, Tim, mermaid, triton, haddock,
The wondrous Indian fish caught near Peru,
Who can be of both elements, your sight
Will keep you well. Here I do cast thee off,
And in thy room pronounce to make thy sister
My heir: it would be most unnatural
To leave a fish land. 'Las! sir, one of your
Bright fins and gills must swim in seas of sack,
Spout rich canaries up like whales in maps:[237]
I know you'll not endure to see my jack
Go empty, nor wear shirts of copperas-bags,
Nor fast in Paul's, you! I do hate thee now
Worse than a tempest, quicksand, pirate, rock,
Or fatal lake, ay, or a privy-seal.[238]
Go, let the captain make you drunk, and let
Your next change be into some ape--'tis stale
To be a fish twice--or some active baboon:
And, when you can find money out, betray
What wench i' th' room has lost her maidenhead;
Can mount to the king, and can do all your feats,
If your fine chain and yellow coat come near
Th' Exchange, I'll see you. So I leave you. [_Exit +Seathrift+._
+Plot.+ Now,
Were there a dext'rous beam and twopence hemp,
Never had man such cause to hang himself.
+Tim.+ I have brought myself to a fine pass too. Now
Am I fit only to be caught, and put
Into a pond to leap carps, or beget
A goodly race of pick'rel.
SCENE IV.
_Enter +Quartfield+ and +Salewit+._
+Quart.+ How now, mad lads; what! is the storm broke up?
+Sale.+ What, sad, like broken gamesters! Master Timothy,
'Slight, who would think your father should lay wheels[239]
To catch you thus?
+Tim.+ If ever I be drunk with captains more----
+Plot.+ Where's Bright and Newcut?
+Sale.+ They were sent for to the Temple, but left word
They would be here at supper.
+Plot.+ They are sure friends to leave us in distress.
+Quart.+ What a mad plot
These two old merchants had contriv'd, to feign
A voyage, then to hunt you out disguised,
And hear themselves abused?
+Sale.+ We heard all.
+Quart.+ If I had stay'd, they had paid me for a captain.
+Sale.+ They had a fling at me. But do you think
Your uncle in this furious mood will marry?
+Plot.+ He deeply swore it: if he do, the sleight
Upon the cards, the hollow die, Park Corner
And Shooter's Hill, are my revenue.
+Tim.+ Yes: and as for me, my destiny will be
To fight by th' day, carry my kitchen and
Collation at my back, wear orderly
My shirt in course, after't has been the shift
Of a whole regiment in the low countries;
And, after all, return with half a leg,
One arm, perchance my nose shot off, to move
Compassion in my father who, in pity
To so much ruin, may be brought to buy
Some place for me in an hospital, to keep me
From bridges, hill-tops, and from selling switches.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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