FRI. From mine helpless match; A tender stripling, whose unmanly chin Had ne'er known razor, nor discover'd A youthful down: yet his minority Was by o'erpow'ring friends accounted fit To match with my maturer growth; but time Display'd their folly who enjoined me to't. And (my misfortune most) light was his brain, But weaker far his strength to satisfy Those lawful nuptial heats which breathe[125] in us An active fire. Now I appeal to you, Judicious consuls. 2D BOY. Hold there, madam, under favour; these brave senators you appeal to are more for execution than judgment. [_Aside._ FRI. Could the patience Of Grisel, were she living, reap content In such enjoyments? Could she suffer youth, Quicken'd with blooming fancy, to expire, And quench her heat with such an useless snuff? FLO. A match insufferable! CAR. Opposing nature! PAL. Nay, what in time would quite depopulate, And make the world a desert. SAL. Higher wrongs Cannot inflicted be on womankind. TIL. Nor aspersing more dishonour on that sex, That most endearèd sex, to which we owe Ourselves and fortunes; for should their choice beauties Suffer a pillage by desertless hands, Forc'd to a loathed bed, and made a prey To seared age, or to unripen'd youth: How soon might these unparallel'd deities, By fixing their affections on strange faces And their more graceful posture, which they valued Above their churlish consorts, become strangers To their due spousal rites? How soon engage Their honour to th' embraces of a servant Of brave deportment, sprightly eyes, neat limbs: A virile presence and a countenance 'Twixt Ajax and Adonis; neither fierce Nor too effeminate, but mix'd 'twixt both: Neither too light to scorn, nor stern to loathe. 'Twas this brought Troy to ruin; for had Helen Espous'd where she had lov'd, poor Menelaus Had ne'er been branch'd, nor Troy reduc'd to flames; Nor Priam and his Hecuba [been] the grounds Of sad succeeding stories. 1ST BOY. A gallant consult, trust me; he has got by heart the ballad of "The Destruction of Troy" to a syllable. [_Aside._ FLO. Honour'd colleague, You show yourself both learn'd and eloquent. Madam, be pleased to solace discontent With a retir'd repose. We have discuss'd And balanced the grandeur of your wrongs In a judicious scale, and shall apply Proper receipts to your aggrievances, When we have heard the rest. 1ST BOY. Receipts of their own application, I warrant thee. [_Aside._ CAR. Madam Caveare, You here appear as a complainant too? CAV. And none more justly: ne'er was woman match'd To such a stupid, sottish animal: One that's compos'd of nonsense, and so weak In masculine abilities, he ne'er read The "Wife of Bath's Tale," nor what thing might please A woman best; my curtain-lectures have No influence on him. I must confess He's simply honest; but what's that to me? He apprehends not what concerns a woman: Nor what may suit her quality in state And fit dimension. CAR. A most unfitting husband!