CARE. I am resolved to put on their own silence and modesty, answer _forsooth_, swear nothing but _God's nigs_, and hold arguments of their own cold tenets, as if I believed there were no true love below the line, then sigh when 'tis proper, and with forced studies betray the enemy who, seeing my eye fixed on her, her vanity thinks I am lost in admiration, calls and shakes me, ere I wake out of my design, and being collected, answer out of purpose, _Love, divinest? yes, who is it that is mortal and does not? or which amongst all the senate of the gods can gaze upon those eyes, and carry thence the power he brought?_ This will start her. WILD. Yes, and make her think thee mad. CARE. Why, that's my design; for then I start too, and rub my eyes as if I waked: then sigh and strangle a yawn, till I have wrung it into tears, with which I rise as if o'ercome with grief; then kiss her hands, and let fall those witnesses of faith and love, bribed for my design. This takes; for who would suspect such a devil as craft and youth to live together? WILD. But what kind of women do you think this will take? CARE. All kind of women. Those that think themselves handsome, it being probable, conclude it real; and those that are handsome in their opinion, that small number will believe it, because it agrees with their wishes. WILD. And when you are gone, it may be they sigh, and their love breaks out into paper, and what then? CARE. What then? why then I'll laugh, and show thee their letters, and teach the world how easy 'tis to win any woman. WILD. This is the way: and be sure to dislike all but her you design for: be scarce civil to any of the sex besides. CARE. That's my meaning; but to her that I mean my prey, all her slave: she shall be my deity, and her opinion my religion. WILD. And while you sad it once to one, I'll talk freer than a privileged fool, and swear as unreasonably as losing gamesters, and abuse thee for thinking to reclaim a woman by thy love: call them all bowls thrown, that will run where they will run, and lovers like fools run after them, crying, _rub_ and _fly_ for me. I believe none fair, nor handsome, nor honest, but the kind. CARE. We must make the captain of our plot, lest he betray us. This will gain us some revenge upon the lovers to whom I grudge the wenches, not that I believe they're worth half the cost they pay for them. And we may talk; but 'tis not our opinion can make them happier or more miserable. _Enter_ JOLLY. WILD. Jolly! Will, where hast thou been? We had such sport with the parson of our town: he's married this morning to Wanton. JOLLY. Who? the captain's wench? he's in a good humour then. As you love mirth, let's find him: I have news to blow his rage with, and 'twill be mirth to us to see him divided betwixt the several causes of his anger, and lose himself in his rage, while he disputes which is the greater. Your opinion, gentlemen: is this or his wench the greater loss?