CAPT. But being particular to her, and not in love, nor subject to it: taking an antidote every morning, before I venture into those infectious places where love and beauty dwell; this enraged the maiden beauties of the time, who thought it a prejudice to their beauties to see me careless, and securely pass by their conquering eyes, my name being found amongst none of those that decked their triumphs. But from this 'tis easy to be safe; for their pride will not let them love, nor my leisure me. Then the old ladies that pay for their pleasures,--they, upon the news, beheld me with their natural frowns, despairing when their money could not prevail; and hated me when they heard that I for my pleasure would pay as large as they. JOLLY. Gentlemen, take warning: a fee from every man; for by this day, there's strange counsel in this confession. WILD. Captain, you forgot to pledge Master Careless! Here, will you not drink a cup of wine? Who's there? Bring the oysters. CAPT. Yes, madam, if you please. WILD. Proceed, captain. PLEA. Fie, Master Wild! are you not ashamed to encourage him to this filthy discourse? CAPT. A glass of wine then, and I'll drink to all the new-married wives that grieve to think at what rate their fathers purchase a little husband. These, when they lie thirsting for the thing they paid so dear for---- _Enter a_ SERVANT _with oysters_. CARE. These, methinks, should be thy friends, and point thee out as a man for them. CAPT. Yes, till the faithful nurse cries; Alas, madam! he keeps such a one, he has enough at home. Then she swells with envy and rage against us both; calls my mistress ugly, common, unsafe, and me a weak secure fool. JOLLY. These are strange truths, madam. WID. Ay, ay; but those oysters are a better jest. CAPT. But she's abused that will let such reason tame her desire, and a fool in love's-school; else she would not be ignorant that variety is such a friend to love, that he which rises a sunk coward from the lady's bed, would find new fires at her maid's: nor ever yet did the man want fire, if the woman would bring the fuel. PLEA. For God's sake, leave this discourse. WID. The captain has a mind we should eat no oysters. WILD. Aunt, we came to be merry, and we will be merry, and you shall stay it out. Proceed, captain. WID. Fie, captain, I am ashamed to hear you talk thus: marry, and then you'll have a better opinion of women. CAPT. Marry! yes, this knowledge will invite me: it is a good encouragement, is it not, think you? What is your opinion? Were not these marriages made in heaven? By this good day, all the world is mad, and makes haste to be fooled, but we four: and I hope there's none of us believes there has any marriages been made in heaven since Adam. JOLLY. By my faith, 'tis thought the devil gave the ring there too. WID. Nephew, I'll swear I'll be gone.