JOLLY. Both; and neither so unlucky as to be thy wife. Thy face is hanged with blacks already: we may see the bells toll in thy eyes. A bride and a wedding-shirt, a sexton and a winding-sheet. A scrivener to draw up jointures, a parson to make thy will, man. By this light, he's as chap-fallen as if he had lain under the table all night. CARE. Faith, Master Sad, he's parlously in the right. Ne'er think of marrying in this dull clime. Wedlock's a trade you'll ne'er go through with. Wives draw bills upon sight, and 'twill not be for your credit to protest them. Rather follow my counsel, and marry _à la Venetiano_, for a night and away; a pistole jointure does it: then, 'tis but repenting in the morning, and leave your woman and the sin both i' th' bed. But if you play the fool, like your friends, and marry in serious earnest, you may repent it too, as they do; but where's the remedy? [_This is spoken a little aside._ WID. What was't you said, sir? Do you repent? CARE. By this hand, widow, I don't know: but we have pursued a jest a great way. Parson, are you sure we are married? PAR. Yes, I warrant you, for their escaping. CARE. Their escaping! Fool, thou mistakest me; there's no fear of that! But I would fain know if there be no way for me to get out of this noose? no hole to hide a man's head in from this wedlock? PAR. Not any, but what I presume she'll show you anon. CARE. Hum! now do I feel all my fears flowing in upon me. Wanton and Mistress Pleasant both grow dangerously handsome. A thousand graces in each I never observed before. Now, just now, when I must not taste, I begin to long for some of their plums. WID. Is this serious, sir! CARE. Yes, truly, widow, sadly serious. Is there no way to get three or four mouthfuls of kisses from the parson's wife? WID. This is sad, sir, upon my wedding-day, to despise me for such a common thing. SAD. As sad as I could wish. This is a jest makes me laugh.--Common! No, madam, that's too bitter; she's forest only, where the royal chase is as free as fair. WAN. Were not you a widow to-day? SAD. Yes, faith, girl, and as foolish a one as ever coach jumbled out of joint. WAN. Stay, then, till to-morrow, and tell me the difference betwixt us. SAD. I hope thou'lt prove a she-prophet. Could I live to see thee turn honest wife, and she the wanton widow! WAN. I cannot but laugh, to see how easy it is to lose or win the opinion of the world. A little custom heals all; or else what's the difference betwixt a married widow and one of us? Can any woman be pure, or worth the serious sighing of a generous heart, that has had above one hand laid upon her? Is there place to write above one lover's name with honour in her heart? 'Tis indeed for one a royal palace; but if it admits of more, an hospital or an inn at best, as well as ours: only off from the road and less frequented. PLEA. Shrewdly urged.