+Mir.+ 'Tis a rare diversion, to see what several Ways my flock of lovers have in being Ridiculous; some of them sigh so damnably, That 'tis as troublesome as a windy day. There's two of them that make their love together, By languishing eye-casts; one of them has One eye bigger than another, and looks Like a tumbler; and that eye's like a musket Bullet, and I expect every minute when he Will hit me with it, he aims so right at me. My other lover looks a-squint, and to See him cast languishing eyes, would make a Woman with child miscarry. There is also A very fat man, master Pinguister, and A very lean man that loves me; I tell the Fat man I cannot marry him till he's Leaner, and the lean man I cannot marry Him till he's fat: so one of them purges And runs heats every morning, to pull down His sides, and th' other makes his tailor stuff His clothes to make him show fatter. O, what Pleasure do I take in fooling of mankind! +Phil.+ Was there ever so witty a wench? 'tis the Woman of women for my turn. I'll to her-- Thou most renowned female! I cannot hold-- +Mir.+ From what? +Phil.+ From kissing thee, [from] loving thee, or what Thou wilt. +Mir.+ Troth, y'are very well acquainted, consid'ring You never saw me before! +Phil.+ Saw thee! I have Heard thee talk this hour, like an angel of light. +Mir.+ Well, d'ye love me for what you heard me say? +Phil.+ Yes, faith, do I; why, you are just of my Humour; when I heard thee say how many Men you had fool'd, I was very glad to hear You come one short of me, for I have fool'd Six women, and you but five men. +Mir.+ Why, If you love me, you will be the sixth fool, To make up my half dozen too. +Phil.+ No, I Won't, and yet I love thee too. +Mir.+ Why, how will You help it? +Phil.+ Thus: you and I Will love one another. +Mir.+ What, whether I will or no? +Phil.+ Nay, hear me, we two will love how we please, When we please, and as long as We please: do not These propositions tickle your heart a little? +Mir.+ I don't mislike them--Now could I take him About the neck and kiss him for this humour Of his. And do you say you will love me! [_Aside._ +Phil.+ Yes, marry, will I. +Mir.+ Nay, hold, I won't marry You. +Phil.+ Nor I thee, for all the world. +Mir.+ And yet You say you will love me? +Phil.+ I tell you I will: make no more words on it. +Mir.+ Why then, Hark you, to be as absolute as you, I will love you too, that is to say, Upon the aforesaid conditions. +Phil.+ With all my heart; prythee, don't think That I Will love thee upon any other terms. But come, We must seal this Bargain with hands, hearts, lips.