A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Volume 15Dodsley, Robert
General
A Select Collection of Old English Plays, Volume 15
Dodsley, Robert
English drama
+2d T.+ Neighbours, I cannot tell; we are old
men, or should be at least; some of us have lived
threescore years and upwards in a parish, as they
say; I name nobody; and therefore it is good to be
sure, and make all our tales _bonum fidrum_: for we
are not all one man's children. And yet, if I be
not mistaken, I am sure I saw three more, and
glittering ones indeed, as you call them. God bless
every good man and woman from the like! They
e'en yearned my heart; and yet, by my fay, I am
a hundred and two, come the time.
+3d T.+ You talk like sucking infants. Neighbours,
I'll be sworn, if I were to take my oath before
the best man living, high or low, there was
twenty drawn swords, little and great. I'm sure,
I might ha' seen 'em, like a fool, had I been worth
my head, but my little boy Jack did.
+1st T.+ La, there; and that same's a murrain
wise boy, if you mark him, and will see a thing, I
warrant you, as soon as the wisest of us all, were
he twice as old again.
+3d T.+ I could ha' seen too at his bigness, for all
I'm lame now, God help us! You remember the
Powder Plot?
+2d T.+ Powder Plot, quotha! I shall not forget
it, while the world stands.
+1st T.+ Nor I, were I to die a thousand deaths.
+3d T.+ That very day was I working in our garret.
+2d T.+ Say you so?
+1st T.+ Nay, neighbours, beshrew me, this may
be true; for I have known this man here able to
do as tight a day's work by noon, as the tallest
fellow the king keeps (God bless him!) take him
from top to toe.
+3d T.+ All's one for that. Mark me! there has
not been a glass window there time out of mind:
since I came nor after; and I tell you truly (I'm
a false liar else) I smelt the powder as hot as if it
had been done the next day.
+1st T.+ See, see, the wind! the wind, neighbours,
is much; God bless us!
+3d T.+ Go to; I am no made fool, though a born
fool, my masters. True, the wind may be something,
as you say. But if there had not been
something else, I would not give a fart for't. I did
not work at court with a master-carpenter for
nothing, my boys; and see the king's grace fasting
and full, as I did, to a hairsbreadth, as they
say. Let me alone for casting my cards, give me but
ground enough; and yet I can neither write nor
read, heaven make me thankful!
+2d T.+ Heaven make us all thankful! I have seen
the king too in my prime, and gave him a beck
upon his milk-white steed; as near as one should
say, what's this? and all his royal lords and ladies
sporting.
+1st T.+ Ay, ay, those were the days (peace be
with 'em!) a poor man's tale might be heard at court.
There are some lords and ladies now were lousy then.
+3d T.+ Go thy ways, by the rood! Nay, he'll have
his old talk, for all the world, up and down.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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