"I heard the noise of plates and dishes in the next room, and Marchas said to me, smiling in a beatific manner: 'This is famous; I found the champagne under the flight of steps outside, the brandy--fifty bottles of the very finest--in the kitchen garden under a pear-tree, which did not look to me to be quite straight, when I looked at it by the light of my lantern. As for solids, we have two fowls, a goose, a duck, and three pigeons. They are being cooked at this moment. It is a delightful part of the country.' "I had sat down opposite to him, and the fire in the grate was burning my nose and cheeks. "'Where did you find this wood?' I asked. "'Splendid wood,' he replied. 'The owner's carriage. It is the paint which is causing all this flame, an essence of alcohol and varnish. A capital house!' "I laughed, for I found the creature was funny, and he went on: 'Fancy this being the Epiphany! I have had a bean put into the goose, but there is no queen; it is really very annoying!' And I repeated like an echo: 'It is annoying, but what do you want me to do in the matter?' "'To find some, of course.' "'Some women. Women?--you must be mad!' "'I managed to find the brandy under the pear-tree, and the champagne under the steps; and yet there was nothing to guide me, while as for you, a petticoat is a sure sign. Go and look, old fellow.' "He looked so grave, so convinced, that I could not tell whether he was joking or not. So I replied: 'Look here, Marchas, are you having a joke with me?' "'I never joke on duty.' "'But where the devil do you expect me to find any women?' "'Where you like; there must be two or three remaining in the neighborhood, so ferret them out and bring them here.' "I got up, for it was too hot in front of the fire, and Marchas went on: 'Do you want an idea?' "'Yes.' "'Go and see the priest.' "'The priest? What for?' "'Ask him to supper, and beg him to bring a woman with him.' "'The priest! A woman! Ha! ha! ha!' "But Marchas continued with extraordinary gravity: 'I am not laughing; go and find the priest and tell him how we are situated, and, as he must be horribly dull, he will come. But tell him that we want one woman at least, a lady, of course, since we are all men of the world. He is sure to have the names of his female parishioners on the tips of his fingers, and if there is one to suit us, and you manage it well, he will indicate her to you.' "'Come, come, Marchas, what are you thinking of?' "'My dear Garens, you can do this quite well. It will be very funny. We are well bred, by Jove! and we will put on our most distinguished manners and our grandest style. Tell the abbe who we are, make him laugh, soften him, seduce him, and persuade him!' "'No, it is impossible.'