But he motioned Joan to take the paper away, and Joan took it into
the room which was still called "Denas' room." She kissed the pictured
face, the hair and eyes and mouth, the lifted arms, the slender
throat. She could not bear to crush the paper together; she opened a
drawer and laid it as gently within as if she had been putting her
baby in its coffin. At this hour there was no anger in her heart;
there was even a little motherly pride in her child's beauty and grace
and cleverness. At this extremity of ill-doing she did not altogether
blame Denas. She was certain that before Denas danced, some one had
somehow persuaded the girl that it was not wicked to dance. "Denas do
have principles," she said stiffly, "and the man do not live who can
make her do wickedly if she do think it be wicked."
She looked with a sad affection around the little room. How lonely it
was! Yes, it is the living who desert us that make lonely rooms, and
not the dead. We know the dead will never come back, but oh, how long
it seems to wait for the living! Month after month to keep the room
ready for the one who does not come for our longing! Month after month
to dress the bed and the table, and lay out the books they loved, and
the little treasures that may tell they were unforgotten. Joan looked
at the small dressing-table holding the shell box, and the satin
pincushion, and the alabaster vase which Denas had once thought
beautiful beyond price. The snowy quilt and pillows, the carefully
kept floor and chairs, the clothing washed and laid with sprigs of
lavender in the tidy drawers--oh, what poetry and eloquence of
untiring, undespairing mother-love were in these things!
But this patient, loving pity for their erring child was an attitude
not easily supposable, and Denasia did not suppose it. She knew from
Roland's report that her appearance as a public singer had caused her
parents great sorrow and anger, and she could only imagine a still
deeper anger when she added the sin of dancing to other causes of
offence. But this alienation from her own people was the bitter drop
in all her success and in all her pleasure. For now that the illusions
and selfishness of her bride-days were past, the faithful home
affection that never wounded and never deceived resumed its
importance, and she longed for her father's kiss and her mother's
breast.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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