For Roland had begun privately--yea, and sometimes openly--to call
himself a fool. And the devil, who never chooses a wrong hour, sent
him at this time an important letter from Elizabeth. In it she told
him that Mr. Burrell had died suddenly from apoplexy, and that she had
resolved to sell Burrell Court and make her residence in London and
Lucerne. She deplored his absence, and said how much she had needed
some one of her own family in the removal from Cornwall and in the
settlement of her husband's estate; and she sent her brother a much
smaller sum of money than she had ever sent before.
When Roland had finished reading this epistle he looked at Denasia.
She was walking about the room trying to soothe and quiet the child.
It was very ill, and she had not dared to speak about a doctor.
Therefore she was feeling hurt and sorrowful, and when Roland said,
"Elizabeth's husband is dead," she did not answer him.
"I said that Elizabeth's husband is dead," he angrily reiterated.
"Very well. I am not sorry. I should think the poor man would be glad
to escape from her."
"You are speaking of my sister, Denasia--of my sister, who is a
lady."
"I care nothing about her. She could always take good care of herself.
I am heart-broken for my child, who is ill and suffering, and I can do
nothing for his relief--no, not even get a doctor."
Words still more bitter followed. Roland dressed himself and went out.
He was not in a mood to do business or to look for business; indeed,
there was no need that he should trouble himself for one day when he
had Elizabeth's order in his pocket. He turned it into cash, bought
the daily newspapers, and, the morning being exquisite, he took the
cars to Central Park. But it was not until he was comfortably seated
in the most retired arbour that he permitted himself to think.
Then he frankly said over and over: "What a fool I have been! Here am
I at thirty-three years of age tied to a plain-looking fisher-girl and
her cross, sickly baby. All I hoped for in her has proved a deception.
Her beauty has not stood the test of climate. Motherhood, that
improves and perfects most women, has personally wrecked her. Her
voice is now commonplace. Her songs are become tiresome. She has grown
fretful, and all her brightness and hopefulness have vanished. I do
not know how to make a living. I may as well admit that my dramatic
views are a failure--that is, they are in advance of the times. I can
do nothing for myself. But if I had not been married, what a jolly
time I might now be having with Elizabeth! London, Paris, Switzerland,
and no care or trouble of any kind. Oh, what a fool I have been! How
terribly I have been deceived!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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