Suddenly both of them heard one o'clock strike from the neighbouring
church. To the Marchese it was a knell which, with horrid warning-note,
dragged him forcibly back from his Circean dalliance to the thoughts,
the things, and the people whose incompatibility with the possibility of
such dalliance was driving him mad. It was the hour at which he had
promised to wait upon the Cardinal. It was absolutely necessary that he
should go at once; and he tore himself away from that fatal sofa-seat
with a wrench, and a reflection on the purpose of his visit to the
Legate, which seemed to him really to threaten to disturb his reason.
Slinkingly he stole from the house in the Strada di Porta Sisi, and
hurried to the Cardinal's palace. His mind seemed to reel, and a cold
sweat broke out all over him as he rang the bell at the top of the great
stone stair of the Legate's dwelling.
This business that he was now here for--those high honours which were
about to be lavished upon him--would they not all make his position so
much the worse? The higher he stood, would not his fall be the more
terrible? What would be said or thought of him? At Rome, immediately
after the high distinction shown him, what would they not say? Here, in
Ravenna, how should he look his fellow-citizens in the face? Impossible,
impossible. Could he venture even to accept the high distinction offered
to him? Would there not be something dishonourable--a sort of treachery
in suffering this mark of the Holy Father's special favour to be
bestowed upon him, while he was meditating to do that which, if his
intention were known, would make it quite impossible that any such
honour should be conferred on him?
And how fair was life before him, as it would be if only this fatal
woman had never crossed his path? And was it not even yet in his own
power to make it equally fair again? Was it not sufficient for him to
will that it should be so?
What if he never saw Bianca again? What could avail any nonsense she or
her pretended father might talk of him? If they were to declare on the
house-tops that he had promised marriage to La Lalli, what human being
in all the city would believe them? The very notion that such a thing
could be possible would be treated as the impudent invention of people
who clearly had not the smallest knowledge of the man they were
attempting to practise on. No, he had but to will it to be free. If only
he could will it.
And with these thoughts passing through his mind he entered the
receiving-room of the Legate.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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