Pitiful as it looks to these ampler days the mere little fact that a
small court for recreation was attached to our academy added something
of a grace to life. We descended in relays, for "intermission," into a
paved and walled yard of the scantest size; the only provision for any
such privilege--not counting the street itself, of which, at the worst
of other conditions, we must have had free range--that I recover from
those years. The ground is built over now, but I could still figure, on
a recent occasion, our small breathing-space; together with my then
abject little sense that it richly sufficed--or rather, positively, that
nothing could have been more romantic. For within our limit we freely
conversed, and at nothing did I assist with more interest than at free
conversation. Certain boys hover before me, the biggest, the fairest,
the most worthy of freedom, dominating the scene and scattering upon
fifty subjects the most surprising lights. One of these heroes, whose
stature and complexion are still there for me to admire, did tricks of
legerdemain, with the scant apparatus of a handkerchief, a key, a
pocket-knife--as to some one of which it is as fresh as yesterday that I
ingenuously invited him to show me how to do it, and then, on his
treating me with scorn, renewed without dignity my fond solicitation.
Fresher even than yesterday, fadelessly fresh for me at this hour, is
the cutting remark thereupon of another boy, who certainly wasn't
Simpson and whose identity is lost for me in his mere inspired
authority: "Oh, oh, oh, I should think you'd be too proud--!" I had
neither been too proud nor so much as conceived that one might be, but I
remember well how it flashed on me with this that I had failed thereby
of a high luxury or privilege--which the whole future, however, might
help me to make up for. To what extent it _has_ helped is another
matter, but so fine was the force of the suggestion that I think I have
never in all the years made certain returns upon my spirit without again
feeling the pang from the cool little voice of the Fourteenth Street
yard. Such was the moral exercise it at least allowed us room for. It
also allowed us room, to be just, for an inordinate consumption of hot
waffles retailed by a benevolent black "auntie" who presided, with her
husband's aid as I remember, at a portable stove set up in a passage or
recess opening from the court; to which we flocked and pushed, in a
merciless squeeze, with all our coppers, and the products of which, the
oblong farinaceous compound, faintly yet richly brown, stamped and
smoking, not crisp nor brittle, but softly absorbent of the syrup dabbed
upon it for a finish, revealed to me I for a long time, even for a very
long time supposed, the highest pleasure of sense. We stamped about, we
freely conversed, we ate sticky waffles by the hundred--I recall no
worse acts of violence unless I count as such our intermissional rushes
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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