tete_, would have done anything or everything for the richest ruby, and
that though one couldn't one's self be decently dead to that richness
one didn't at all know what "anything" might be or in the least what
"everything" was. The gushing cousins, at the same time, assuredly knew
still less of that, and Honorine's brave gloss of a whole range alike of
possibilities and actualities was in itself a true social grace.
They all enjoyed, in fine, while I somehow but wastefully mused--which
was after all my form of enjoyment; I was shy for it, though it was a
truth and perhaps odd enough withal, that I didn't really at all care
for gems, that rubies and pearls, in no matter what collocations, left
me comparatively cold; that I actually cared for them about as little
as, monstrously, secretly, painfully, I cared for flowers. Later on I
was to become aware that I "adored" trees and architectural
marbles--that for a sufficient slab of a sufficiently rare, sufficiently
bestreaked or empurpled marble in particular I would have given a bag of
rubies; but by then the time had passed for my being troubled to make
out what in that case would represent on a small boy's part the
corruptibility, so to call it, proclaimed, before the _vitrines_, by the
cousins. That hadn't, as a question, later on, its actuality; but it had
so much at the time that if it had been frankly put to me I must have
quite confessed my inability to say--and must, I gather, by the same
stroke, have been ashamed of such inward penury; feeling that as a boy I
showed more poorly than girls. There was a difference meanwhile for such
puzzlements before the porticos of the theatres; all questions melted
for me there into the single depth of envy--envy of the equal, the
beatific command of the evening hour, in the _regime_ of Honorine's
young train, who were fresh for the early sparrow and the chiffonier
even after shedding buckets of tears the night before, and not so much
as for the first or the second time, over the beautiful story of La Dame
aux Camelias. There indeed was another humiliation, but by my weakness
of position much more than of nature: whatever doing of "everything"
might have been revealed to me as a means to the end, I would certainly
have done it for a sight of Madame Doche and Fechter in Dumas's
triumphant idyll--now enjoying the fullest honours of innocuous
classicism; with which, as with the merits of its interpreters,
Honorine's happy charges had become perfectly and if not quite serenely,
at least ever so responsively and feelingly, familiar. Of a wondrous
mixed sweetness and sharpness and queerness of uneffaced reminiscence is
all that aspect of the cousins and the rambles and the overlapping
nights melting along the odorously bedamped and retouched streets and
arcades; bright in the ineffable morning light, above all, of our
peculiar young culture and candour!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account