everybody think of him? Colin’s heart beat against his breast in loud
throbs of wounded love and pride. At Wodensbourne everything seemed
impossible. He had not the heart to go away and end abruptly his first
love and all his dreams; and how could he stay to consume his heart and
his life? How go back to the old existence, which would now be so much
harder? How begin anew and try another life apart from all his training
and traditions, for the sake of that wildest of incredible hopes? Colin
had lived for some time in this state of struggle and argument with
himself, and it was only Matty’s presence which at times delivered him
from it. Now, as before, he took refuge in the thought that he could not
immediately free himself; that, having accepted his position as
Charley’s tutor, he could not relinquish it immediately; that honour
bound him to remain for the winter at least. When he had come, for the
fiftieth time, to this conclusion, he went indoors, and upstairs to his
room. It was a good way up, but yet it was more luxurious than anything
in Ramore, and on the table there were some flowers which she had given
him the night before. Poor Colin! after his serious reflections he owed
himself a little holiday. It was an odd enough conclusion, certainly, to
his thoughts, but he had an hour to himself and his writing-desk was
open on the table, and involuntarily he bethought himself of Miss
Matty’s parting words. The end of it was that he occupied his hour
writing and re-writing and polishing into smooth couplets the pretty
verses which that young lady had asked for. Colin’s verses were as
follows; from which it will be seen that, though he had a great deal of
poetical sentiment, he was right in refusing to consider himself a
poet:--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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