The thought touched him deeply, profoundly, with
wistful pity, with wonder and inquiry. Where was he now, this youth who
had so lately been by his side? Had he found out those problems that
trouble men for their life long? Had existence grown already clear and
intelligible to the eyes which in this world had cared but little to
investigate its mysteries?
While Colin’s mind was thus occupied, it occurred to him suddenly to
wonder why he himself was so ill and so feeble. He had no inclination to
get up from the bed on which he lay. Sometimes he coughed, and the cough
pained him; his very breathing was a fatigue to him now and then. As he
lay pondering this new thought, curious half-recollections, as of things
that had happened in a dream, came into Colin’s mind; visions of doctors
examining some one--he scarcely knew whether it was himself or
another--and of conversations that had been held over his bed. As he
struggled through these confusing mazes of recollection or imagination,
his head began to ache and his heart to beat; and finally his uneasy
movements woke the nurse, who was alarmed and would not listen to any of
the questions he addressed to her. “My lady told you as you’d hear
everything to-morrow,” said Colin’s attendant; “for goodness gracious
sake take your draught, do, and lie still; and don’t go a-moidering and
a-bothering, and take away a poor woman’s character, as was never known
to fall asleep before, nor wouldn’t but for thinking you was better and
didn’t want nothing.” It was strange to the vigorous young man, who had
never been in the hands of a nurse in his life, to feel himself
constrained to obey--to feel, indeed, that he had no power to resist,
but was reduced to utter humiliation and dependence, he could not tell
how. He fell asleep afterwards, and dreamed of Harry Frankland drowning,
and of himself going down, down through the muddy, black water--always
down, in giddy circles of descent, as if it were bottomless. When he
woke again it was morning, and his attendant was putting his room to
rights, and disposed to regard himself with more friendly eyes. “Don’t
you go disturbing of yourself,” said the nurse, “and persuading of the
doctor as you ain’t no better. You’re a deal better, if he did but know
it. What’s come to you? It’s all along of falling in the canal that
night along of Mr. Harry. If you takes care, and don’t get no more cold,
you’ll do well.”
“Along with Mr. Harry--poor Harry!--and he--?” said Colin. His own voice
sounded very strange to him, thin and far-off, like a shadow of its
former self. When he asked this question, the profoundest wistful pity
filled the young man’s heart. He was sorry to the depths of his soul for
the other life which had, he supposed, gone out in darkness. “Poor
Frankland!” he repeated to himself, with an action of mournful regret.
_He_ had been saved, and the other lost. So he thought, and the thought
went to his heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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