Miss Matty Frankland all this time had not been without her trials. They
were trials as unlike Colin’s as possible, but not without some weight
and poignancy of their own, such as might naturally belong to the
secondary heartaches of a woman who was far from being destitute either
of sense or feeling, and yet was at the same time a little woman of the
world. In the first place, she was greatly aggravated that Harry, who on
the whole seemed to be her fate, an inevitable necessity, should allow
himself to be picked out of a canal at the hazard of another man’s life.
Harry was, on the whole, a very good fellow, and was not apt to fall
into an inferior place among his equals, or show himself less manful,
courageous, or fortunate than other people. But it wounded Matty’s
pride intensely to think that she might have to marry a man whose life
had been twice saved, all the more as it was not a fault with which he
could be reasonably upbraided. And then, being a woman, it was
impossible for her to refrain from a little natural involuntary
hero-worship of the other; who was not only the hero of these
adventures, but her own chivalrous adorer to boot--perhaps the only man
in the world who had suffered his life to be seriously affected by her
influence. Not only so; but at bottom Miss Matty was fond of Colin, and
looked upon him with an affectionate, caressing regard, which was not
love, but might very easily have borne the aspect of love by moments,
especially when its object was in a position of special interest.
Between these two sentiments the young lady was kept in a state of
harass and worry, disadvantageous both to her looks and her temper--a
consciousness of which re-acted in its turn upon her feelings. She put
it all down to Harry’s score when, looking in her glass, she found
herself paler than usual. “I wonder how he could be such an ass,” she
said to herself at such periods, with a form of expression unsuitable
for a boudoir; and then her heart would melt towards his rival. There
were even some moments in which she felt, or imagined she felt, the
thraldom of society, and uttered to herself sighs and sneers, half false
and half true, about the “gilded chains,” &c. which bound her to make
her appearance at Sir Thomas’s dinner-party, and to take an active part
in Lady Frankland’s ball.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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