It was altogether a trying situation for Colin. If she had been able to
seduce him into a little recrimination she might have succeeded in
dragging the reluctant captive back again into her toils; which, having
by this time entirely recovered her senses, was all Miss Matty wanted.
Her downcast, tearful eyes, the faltering in her voice, were wonderfully
powerful weapons, which the young man was unable to combat by means of
mere indifference. Colin, however, being a man of impulses, was never to
be calculated on beforehand for any particular line of conduct; and, on
the present occasion, he entirely overleaped Miss Matty’s bounds.
“Yes, it is strange,” said Colin. “Perhaps nothing but the sight of
death, who has been staring into my eyes for some time, could have shown
me the true state of affairs. I have uttered a great deal of nonsense
since I came to Wodensbourne, and you--have listened to it, Miss
Frankland; and, perhaps, rather enjoyed seeing my tortures and my
delights. But nothing could come of that; and when death hangs on behind
everything but love flies before him,” said Colin. “It was pleasant
sport while it lasted; but everything, except love, comes to an end.”
“Except love,” said Miss Matty. She was terribly piqued and mortified on
the surface, and a little humbled and sorrowful within. She had a sense,
too, that, for one moment, at the beginning of this interview, she had
almost been capable of that sentiment which Colin exalted so highly: and
that, consequently, he did her injustice in speaking of it as something
with which she had nothing to do. “I remember hearing you talk of _that_
sometimes, in the midst of what you call nonsense now. If you did not
understand yourself, you can’t expect that I should have understood
you,” she went on. To tell the truth, Miss Matty was very near crying.
She had experienced the usual injustice of human affairs, and been
punished for her vanity just at the moment when she was inclined to do
better; and her heart cried out against such cruel usage. This time,
however, she kept her tears quite in subjection and did not show them,
but only repeated, “You could not expect that I should understand you,
if you did not understand yourself!”
“No; that is true at least,” said Colin, with eyes that strayed beyond
her, and had gone off into other regions unknown to Matty. This which
had piqued her even at the height of their alliance gave her an excuse
for her anger now.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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