of magazines, that the poor boy was naturally puzzled to find that all
his efforts could not gain him a hearing. And it began to be rather
important to him to find something to do. During the previous summers
Colin had not disdained the farm and its labours, but had worked with
his father and brothers without any sense of incongruity. But now
matters were changed. Miss Matty, with her curls and her smiles, had
bewitched the boy out of his simple innocent life. It did not seem
natural that the hand which she consented to touch with her delicate
fingers should hold the plough or the reaping hook, or that her
companion in so many celestial rambles should plod through the furrows
at other times, or go into the rough drolleries of the harvest field.
Colin began to think that the life of a farmer’s son at Ramore was
inconsistent with his future hopes, and there was nothing else for it
but teaching, since so little was to be made of the magazines. When he
had come to himself and began to see the surrounding circumstances with
clearer eyes, Colin, who had no mind to be dependent, but meant to make
his own way as was natural to a Scotch lad of his class, bethought
himself of the most natural expedient. He had distinguished himself at
college, and it was not difficult to find the occupation he wanted.
Perhaps he was glad to escape from the primitive home, from the mother’s
penetrating looks, and all the homely ways of which the ambitious boy
began to be a little impatient. He had come to the age of discontent. He
had begun to look forward no longer to the vague splendours of boyish
imagination, but to elevation in the social scale, and what he heard
people call success in life. A year or two before it had not occurred to
Colin to consider the circumstances of his own lot;--his ambition
pointed only to ideal grandeur, unembarrassed by particulars--and it was
very possible for the boy to be happy, thinking of some incoherent
greatness to come, while engaged in the humblest work, and living in the
homeliest fashion. But the time had arrived when the pure ideal had to
take to itself some human garments, and when the farmer’s son became
aware that a scholar and a gentleman required a greater degree of
external refinement in his surroundings. His young heart was wounded by
this new sense, and his visionary pride offended by the thought that
these external matters could count for anything in the dignity of a man.
But Colin had to yield like every other. He loved his family no less,
but he was less at home among them. The inevitable disruption was
commencing, and already, with the quick insight of her susceptible
nature, the mistress of Ramore had discovered that the new current was
setting in, that the individual stream of Colin’s life was about to
disengage itself, and that her proud hopes for her boy were to be sealed
by his separation from her. The tender-hearted woman said nothing of it,
except by an occasional pathetic reflection upon things in general,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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