Why this should have heartened Aura up it is hard to say, but it did.
She actually smiled. "What I wanted to ask was this, Martha. In your
experience--do you think it hurts a man very much to be in love--I
mean, of course, to be in love with some one who doesn't want--I mean
who won't marry him?"
Martha poised the rolling-pin on one hip, her hand on the other.
"Hurt 'em!" she echoed. "Lord sakes, no! It's the makin' o' them. Bate
wouldn't be 'alf so spry at his years if he 'adn't bin wantin' to
marry me any time this fourteen year back. That's why I won't 'ave him
even now, Miss H'Aura. 'Bate,' says I, 'if I was to take you now,
you'd get fat an' lazy. You wouldn't rise no more. You'd be like
whipped eggs as is let stand, all gone to froth an' water.' No! Miss
H'Aura, men is like heggs, they want beatin' 'ard all the time, else
they'll never rise to better things."
The rolling-pin came down on the pastry with more decision than ever,
and Aura laughed out loud. Something in the very phrasing of the last
words comforted her.
Yet she was not quite content as she changed her day-dress for the
white cambric one she wore in the evening; after all, it was but
putting it on an hour or so before her usual time, and the Mechlin
lace about her throat was a concession which would please her
grandfather.
"Aura!--my dearest, you look quite bridal," exclaimed Ted, as he came
in to find her sitting by the firelight. "It seems too good to be
true--but the rector will be here in half an hour." He knelt down
beside her, and laid his head in her lap. "My dear, my dear!" he said
almost with a sob. "I don't seem able to say anything but _that_,
somehow," he added almost pathetically. Far away, dimly, he saw a
vision of something better, unattainable, incompatible with his
sensuous life. It was beautiful but--what would you? Man is but man;
and he must have money wherewith to live.
"Then there is something which I must tell you--before," she said; "it
is something which I think you ought to know. Ned asked me to marry
him on New Year's Day--and I refused."
Ted's heart gave a great throb as it had done when Ned Blackborough
had used much the same words nearly a month before.
"I--I am sorry for Ned," he said softly, "but I don't see----"
For answer she held out the telegram. "He sent me this to-day," she
said, "and I wonder--if he is waiting."
"Waiting!" echoed Ted hotly. "Waiting for what? You say you refused
him?"
"Yes! I told him I would not marry him--because I was afraid of loving
him too much; that was the truth."
For one instant the whole room seemed to spin round with Ted; he had
to steady himself by holding to the back of a chair.
"I don't understand what you mean," he said thickly.
"I don't think he did either," she replied with a lingering regret in
her voice, "for he said he would ask me again in two months, as if
that would alter anything."
Ted caught swiftly at the ray of light. "Then if he asked you
again--you--you would refuse him?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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