But one steady star remained. That came from the room where she lay
dead. It seemed incredible. Such sudden endings to all things came
into life sometimes, of course; still why should they come into his?
It was unfair. He risked everything on this one stake. Bit by bit he
had given up everything else. He had chased love to the outside edge
of the world, and now--it had gone over the verge.
He stood up and stretched himself, wondering vaguely how he had passed
the last few hours. He had slept for a while, he knew. That was at the
beginning, after he had gone down to the hollow where they had sat
together, and where he had planted the iris by the side of the
narcissus which was too proud to look for its fellow in the
earth-bounded pool at its feet. It had amused him--yes! positively
amused him--to dig holes for the bulbs with his pen-knife, and make a
grave--long and narrow like the window-sill--just such a grave as he
remembered on hill and dale at Kashmir. And it was not an empty grave
either; for he had buried in it the violets and the primroses, the
lilies of the valley and all things sweet.
In that first hour he must have been almost crazy with grief.
But then, he remembered, he had lain down half-hidden by the
hyacinths, dog-tired in mind and body to sleep a dreamless sleep. Then
he had come and watched the lights until it should be dark enough for
the night to bring disguise.
Now it had come, and it was time to be going.
Whither?
As if that mattered! He had come prepared for a secret journey, and
there was a hundred pounds odd in his pocket. The thought made him
smile bitterly. So far as outward circumstances stood, he was in
exactly the same position as he had been two years ago when he and Ted
had first met in a bicycle smash. In exactly the same position since
what was there to prevent his turning up at New Park in a few days,
and resuming his life as Lord Blackborough? There was nothing to
prevent it since the deed of gift could stand, of course; nothing but
his utter weariness. It would be better to start afresh.
He looked at his watch. Yes! it was time he was off. He would walk
down the coast road to Pot-âfon; thence take the cargo steamer to
Liverpool. All roads meet there. He would go off to the wilds
somewhere, and after a year if--if nothing changed--he could easily
fabricate his own death, and let the heir come into what he did not
want.
He set off for his night walk cheerfully enough. The glamour of that
past day was upon him still, he seemed to hear her voice saying for
him "It has been quite perfect." In reality those had been her last
words, since the cry "the child! the child!" had been wrung from her
by chance--by one of the unhappy chances and changes of this most
unhappy world.
"It has been quite perfect." Ay! perhaps, but in the past tense. What
of the present?
He paused at the bridge below the village where the mountain stream
joined the river Afon, to look down to the still pool below the arch.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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