"What do you know of Pagenheim? I beg your pardon! I was forgetting
that women know everything nowadays. Yes, Mrs. Tressilian, by
Pagenheim. He was my master."
She knew that; knew also that the great surgeon had sent him back to
England as his best pupil.
"Well," she said after a time, "If you won't tell me I will order the
_Wiener Hospital Blatt_; I shall see all about it there I suppose."
This time he laughed out loud. "You are very persistent, so I will
save you the trouble of finding out in which number it is reported."
When he had finished, she sat looking at him for a moment, feeling a
sudden motherly desire to help this curiously capable, curiously inept
man, whose strong white surgeon's hands showed themselves firmly
gripping each other beyond frail, frayed wristbands.
"But surely if you hold that there is a chance of life for him----"
she began.
He rose, and resting his arm on the mantelpiece, looked down on her
mentally and physically.
"Life!" he echoed. "What is life worth to him? and how do you know
that what we call death ends it? Mind you, I'm not speaking from my
own beliefs--they are--well! not much! Belief is positive--I'm not.
But you, Mrs. Tressilian. Why do you and your sort hold this life so
dear, and why are you all at the same time in such a blessed hurry to
get another hour or two of it in which to do something when you
believe in a fuller, better life beyond death? It isn't logical. My
mother used to say that when she taught me, a three-year-old, about
Cain and Abel, I refused to give blame to the former on the ground
that he had only sent Abel to heaven. That should be your position."
"And yours?"
"Oh! mine is simple. To a doctor life is merely the converse of death,
and death is the devil! We cannot prescribe for a corpse--or for the
matter of that levy a fee for so doing--and that is the end and aim of
doctoring."
"Why should you say those things, Dr. Ramsay?" she asked quietly. "You
know you never take one--at least you would take none from me."
He flushed slightly. "Because I did nothing--and you were an
interesting case. I levy a big fee of experience, Mrs. Tressilian. But
concerning this boy--my colleagues are against me, and----" He
shrugged his shoulders. "I don't think the world will come to an end
if No. 36 goes out of it. I shouldn't mind if it did--it isn't worth
much."
"But are you not bound?" she persisted. "You have no right to judge
what his life might be. A doctor's duty is to save life and defy death
at all costs."
His face softened immensely.
"You have got it quite pat, Mrs. Tressilian. That is my duty
undoubtedly; but--but I can't afford to do it--as yet--and after all,
there is plenty of time--we have a few centuries of evolution before
us yet."
"But you--you yourself?" she asked, scanning his face eagerly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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