A Sportsman's Sketches, Volume 2: Works of Ivan Turgenev, Volume 2Turgenev, Ivan Sergeevich
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A Sportsman's Sketches, Volume 2: Works of Ivan Turgenev, Volume 2
Turgenev, Ivan Sergeevich
Country life -- Russia -- Fiction; Peasants -- Russia -- Fiction; Russia -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
'Well, as you like, as you like, Lukerya. You know, I only suggested it
for your good.'
'I know, master, that it was for my good. But, master dear, who can help
another? Who can enter into his soul? Every man must help himself! You
won't believe me, perhaps. I lie here sometimes so alone...and it's as
though there were no one else in the world but me. As if I alone were
living! And it seems to me as though something were blessing me....I'm
carried away by dreams that are really marvellous!'
'What do you dream of, then, Lukerya?'
'That, too, master, I couldn't say; one can't explain. Besides, one
forgets afterwards. It's like a cloud coming over and bursting, then it
grows so fresh and sweet; but just what it was, there's no knowing! Only
my idea is, if folks were near me, I should have nothing of that, and
should feel nothing except my misfortune.'
Lukerya heaved a painful sigh. Her breathing, like her limbs, was not
under her control.
'When I come to think, master, of you,' she began again, 'you are very
sorry for me. But you mustn't be too sorry, really! I'll tell you one
thing; for instance, I sometimes, even now.... Do you remember how merry
I used to be in my time? A regular madcap!... So do you know what? I sing
songs even now.'
'Sing?... You?'
'Yes; I sing the old songs, songs for choruses, for feasts, Christmas
songs, all sorts! I know such a lot of them, you see, and I've not
forgotten them. Only dance songs I don't sing. In my state now, it
wouldn't suit me.'
'How do you sing them?...to yourself?'
'To myself, yes; and aloud too. I can't sing loud, but still one can
understand it. I told you a little girl waits on me. A clever little
orphan she is. So I have taught her; four songs she has learnt from me
already. Don't you believe me? Wait a minute, I'll show you
directly....'
Lukerya took breath.... The thought that this half-dead creature was
making ready to begin singing raised an involuntary feeling of dread in
me. But before I could utter a word, a long-drawn-out, hardly audible,
but pure and true note, was quivering in my ears... it was followed by
a second and a third. 'In the meadows,' sang Lukerya. She sang, the
expression of her stony face unchanged, even her eyes riveted on one
spot. But how touchingly tinkled out that poor struggling little voice,
that wavered like a thread of smoke: how she longed to pour out all her
soul in it!... I felt no dread now; my heart throbbed with unutterable
pity.
'Ah, I can't!' she said suddenly. 'I've not the strength. I'm so upset
with joy at seeing you.'
She closed her eyes.
I laid my hand on her tiny, chill fingers.... She glanced at me, and her
dark lids, fringed with golden eyelashes, closed again, and were still
as an ancient statue's. An instant later they glistened in the
half-darkness.... They were moistened by a tear.
As before, I did not stir.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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