A story teller's story : $b The tale of an American writer's journey through his own imaginative world and through the world of facts, with many of his experiences and impressions among other writersAnderson, Sherwood
General
A story teller's story : $b The tale of an American writer's journey through his own imaginative world and through the world of facts, with many of his experiences and impressions among other writers
Anderson, Sherwood
Anderson, Sherwood, 1876-1941; Authors, American -- 20th century -- Biography
On the steps in front we stopped and Nora stood for a time looking at
me. It was a look I did not much fancy, but what was I to do? Two or
three times during our walk I had tried to begin talking a little and
had attempted to patch up the structure of my yarn so that it would
not be quite so full of holes and leaky but could think of no way to
explain the unbruised surface and uninjured knuckles of my left, so I
had taken refuge in a kind of sullen silence.
I had even begun to feel a little injured and angry and was asking
myself what right Nora had to question my story--was feeling, to tell
the truth, much as I was later to feel when some editor or critic
rejected, as not sound, one of my written tales--that is to say,
resentful and intolerant of the editor or critic and inclined to call
him a fool and to attribute to him all kinds of secret and degrading
motives. I was feeling much in this mood, I say, when we had got back
to the steps and were standing in the darkness in front.
And then Nora suddenly put her strong arm about my neck and pulled my
head down upon her shoulder and I began to cry like a child.
That in an odd way made me more resentful than ever. It faced me with
a problem I have all my life been trying to face and have never quite
succeeded. One does so hate to admit that the average woman is kinder,
finer, more quick of sympathy and on the whole so much more first class
than the average man. It is a fact perhaps but a fact that I have
always thought we men should deny with all the strength of our more
powerful wills. We men should conquer women. We should not stand in the
darkness with our heads on their shoulders, blubbering as I was doing
at that moment.
However, I continued crying and being ashamed of myself and Nora did
not press her advantage. When, now and then, I lifted my face from her
shoulder and looked at her face, dimly seen in the darkness, it seemed
to me just kindly and filled with sympathy for my position.
I felt, I presume, most of all the story-teller’s shame at the failure
of his yarn and there was something else too. There was a suspicion
that Nora, the woman who had been for weeks listening to my talk
and whom I had somewhat looked down upon as not being my equal, had
suddenly become my superior. I had prided myself on my mind and on the
superiority of my imaginative flights. Could it be that this woman,
this maker of beds in a cheap laborers’ rooming house, had a better
mind than my own?
The thought was unbearable and so, as soon as I could conveniently
manage it, I got my head off Nora’s shoulder and made my escape.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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