A Strange World: A Novel. Volume 2 (of 3)Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
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A Strange World: A Novel. Volume 2 (of 3)
Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
English fiction -- 19th century
‘Even I, who have had you for my wife, did not know the divinity of a
woman’s love—until this miserable hour. My dearest, even to comfort you,
I cannot add deliberate blasphemy to my sins. I cannot kneel, or pray to
a Power in which my faith is of the weakest. Keep your gentle creed,
dearest, adore your God of mercy—but I have hardened my heart against
these things too long to find comfort in them now. My one glory, my one
consolation, is the thought that, lost as I am, I have not fallen too
low for your love. You will love me and hold by me, knowing my sin; and
let my one merit be that in this dark hour I have not lied to you. I
have not striven to outweigh that woman’s accusation by some fable which
your love might accept.’
‘No, Churchill, you have trusted me, and you shall find me worthy of
your trust,’ she answered, bravely. ‘No act of mine shall ever betray
you. And if you cannot pray—if God withholds the light of truth from you
for a little while, my prayers shall ascend to Him like ever-burning
incense. My intercession shall never cease. My faith shall never
falter.’
He kissed her again without a word—too deeply moved for speech,—and then
turned away from her and paced the room to and fro, while she went to
her dressing-table, and looked wonderingly at the white wan face, which
had beamed so brightly on her guests last night. She looked at herself
thoughtfully, remembering that henceforward she had a part to act, and a
fatal secret to keep. No wan looks, no tell-tale pallor must betray the
horrid truth.
‘Madge,’ said her husband, presently, after two or three thoughtful
turns up and down the room, ‘I have not one word to say to you in
self-justification. I stand before you confessed, a sinner of the
blackest dye. Yet you must not imagine that my whole life is of a colour
with that one hideous act. It is not so. Till that hour my life had been
blameless enough—more blameless perhaps than the career of one young man
in twenty, in our modern civilization. Temptation to vulgar sins never
assailed me. I was guiltless till that fatal hour in which my evil
genius whispered the suggestion of a prize worth the price of crime.
Macbeth was a brave and honourable soldier, you know, when the fatal
sisters met him on the heath, and hissed their promise into his ear. And
in that moment guilty hope seized upon his soul, and already in thought
he was a murderer. Dearest, I have never been a profligate, or cheat, or
liar, or coward. I have concentrated the wickedness which other men
spread over a lifetime of petty sins in one great offence.’
‘And that shall be forgiven,’ cried Madge, with a sublime air of
conviction. ‘It shall, if you will but repent.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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