In my disposure of employments of the brain, I have thought fit to make invention the master, and to give method and reason the office of its lackeys. The cause of this distribution was from observing it my peculiar case to be often under a temptation of being witty upon occasion where I could be neither wise nor sound, nor anything to the matter in hand. And I am too much a servant of the modern way to neglect any such opportunities, whatever pains or improprieties I may be at to introduce them. For I have observed that from a laborious collection of seven hundred and thirty-eight flowers and shining hints of the best modern authors, digested with great reading into my book of common places, I have not been able after five years to draw, hook, or force into common conversation any more than a dozen. Of which dozen the one moiety failed of success by being dropped among unsuitable company, and the other cost me so many strains, and traps, and ambages to introduce, that I at length resolved to give it over. Now this disappointment (to discover a secret), I must own, gave me the first hint of setting up for an author, and I have since found among some particular friends that it is become a very general complaint, and has produced the same effects upon many others. For I have remarked many a towardly word to be wholly neglected or despised in discourse, which hath passed very smoothly with some consideration and esteem after its preferment and sanction in print. But now, since, by the liberty and encouragement of the press, I am grown absolute master of the occasions and opportunities to expose the talents I have acquired, I already discover that the issues of my observanda begin to grow too large for the receipts. Therefore I shall here pause awhile, till I find, by feeling the world’s pulse and my own, that it will be of absolute necessity for us both to resume my pen. * * * * * [In some early editions of “The Tale of a Tub,” Swift added, under the title of “What Follows after Section IX.,” the following sketch for a “History of Martin.”] THE HISTORY OF MARTIN. _Giving an account of his departure from Jack_, _and their setting up for themselves_, _on which account they were obliged to travel_, _and meet many disasters_; _finding no shelter near Peter’s habitation_, _Martin succeeds in the North_; _Peter thunders against Martin for the loss of the large revenue he used to receive from thence_; _Harry Huff sent Marlin a challenge in fight_, _which he received_; _Peter rewards Harry for the pretended victory_, _which encouraged Harry to huff Peter also_; _with many other extraordinary adventures of the said Martin in several places with many considerable persons_. _With a digression concerning the nature_, _usefulness_, _and necessity of wars and quarrels_.